oh moogirl, now what?

1 year and 4 months, plus a couple weeks...

2012-01-20T00:19:00.000-08:00

Luci is barely 17 months old and she climbed/jumped/flew/ninja hopped out of her crib earlier this week. I wasn't totally surprised, but I also couldn't believe it. I thought we had a couple more months AT LEAST before she would figure it out. She has got super strong legs. Her mattress is at the lowest point in the crib. She is only about 32.5 inches tall.

I hardly ever have energy or time, mostly energy to get on the computer at night anymore. It's almost impossible to get on here in the daytime. Now I have to lay down or sit with Luci in her room on a futon mattress on the floor till she falls asleep. She wouldn't go to sleep tonight. I sat on my butt for over 90 minutes. Finally I put her in her crib and left. She cried and yelled at me, then fell asleep. She didn't climb out. Either she forgot how or she was too tired. We also put the crib in the corner of the room, so maybe she couldn't jump out with the new angle. I checked on her and she woke up very upset so I held her for a few seconds and then put her on the floor and sat with her and rubbed her back till she was passed out again. I feel better knowing she won't hurt herself jumping out of the crib later in the night.

I lay down with her for naps too. I usually end up just napping with her because I'm so tired by 2pm. Oh she went down to one nap a day about a month ago. And it used to be a 2-3 hour nap, but now it's about an hour. I really hope that improves a little, just for a year or three.

I rarely ever let her cry it out (CIO) to sleep anymore because she never ever ever stopped crying for good. She always whimpered or let out a 30-second to ten minute cry/scream/tears after months and months of being good about that whole SleepSense program stuff. I gave up. And when she is sick, she throws up from crying. So instead of crying we just let her sleep with us. I go to sleep with her early or Jason does. Crying just didn't work after so many months. I couldn't stand her sadness and it wasn't better for her in the end, especially after changing her sheets and clothes three nights in a row. I think we stopped the CIO method this past month. I do it once in a while, but I won't let her cry for too long, maybe 10-15 minutes before I go and check on her. Oh well.

Jason got orders for Fort Carson, Colorado. We move sometime in April this year. We are very much looking forward to it, but also I'm a little down because I've made an awesome group of girlfriends out here and I'm really going to miss them. Luci loves them and they all love her too. Living closer to civilization and having easier access to local shopping and food will feel like luxury to us. No more driving 80 miles to the nearest Target or baby store. Or even 30 miles to the nearest Walmart.

We spent the last Christmas with family up in Northern California since we figured we wouldn't be this close again. We only spent a week out there. It was okay. Luci enjoyed all of her relatives.

I should get to bed since Luci has been waking up at random times of the morning ever since she has been sleeping on the floor instead of her crib. I think I'm going to have Jason take down the crib this weekend. There really is no point to keep it up since it is dangerous for her to jump out. I'm so afraid of her hitting her head or snapping her little neck on the way down, even though we have some padding on the bottom. It won't fit through the door so either us or the movers will have to take it apart anyway.

Good night.

Broccoli everywhere

2011-08-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know how to teach kids to eat neatly? I know it must be possible.

In the Japanese market, this lady peeled a banana and handed it half peeled to her son, then picked him up and carried him while carrying a couple bags of groceries, and walked out. I'm assuming the boy doesn't grab the banana and mash it with his other hand while eating it in between. Nor does he smear it in his hair, ears and on his mom's hair and clothes, like my sweet girl Luci loves to do. If he did, I don't think his mother would just go and hand it over to him like that while out and about. He looked really young, possibly Luci's age or a little older.

Much Needed Haircut
Oh, I cut off all my hair! Well, just ten inches, but it was a lot. I absolutely love it. I feel ten years younger and like a girl again. I knew I needed this type of change. I just haven't had a chance to get it done because I only trust my current hair guy in San Francisco Japantown. I felt like a 50 year old ragged mom with my long, dry, stringy pony tail of hair I had before. I knew it too. I should have cut it away myself until I could get a real cut. Oh well. I'm so happy now. Luci took about 30 seconds to get used to it. I went up to her after my cut and talked to her like normal, she grabbed my mom's leg, but didn't run or cry. Then I pulled my short hair back as though it was a pony tail and she smiled and walked to me with a big hug. Interesting that she didn't recognize me at first.

The BIG ONE!
Luci's big first birthday parties are coming fast. We are having a big traditional Korean party on Saturday, then the American party is on her real birthday, Sunday.

Is there any way to prevent a child from being spoiled when both Grandparents spoil her? We try not to spoil her ourselves too much, but I think we do.

(via.htc.m)

Exhausted. Luci loves to eat.

2011-08-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

I've been so tired lately, I don't have energy to do much online after Luci goes to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well at night for three weeks now. I get in bed between 9-12 at night, then sometimes I'll get back up and surf on the computer, but my brain doesn't have much to write about except the daily mumble jumble so I don't feel like writing about it. I don't want to bore my readers if I have any left. So yeah, I fall asleep sometime between 2:30AM and 4:15AM. Luci wakes up between 7:30AM and 8:30AM.

I've been shopping online TOO MUCH. There is nothing else to do. I'm bored. The play groups here are dirty and icky, I don't want to take Luci to them. Plus, they use bleach on all the toys. WTH?

Luci is walking 100% now, probably since about 10.5 months old. She is fast too. I only see her crawling if it's to get under a table or desk to where Moo is. Poor Moo, Luci follows her everywhere and always wants to play with her. I think part of Moo likes it, because she gets more attention, but part of her gets tired of it too.

I love that Luci is walking, even though it's a little early for her age. It's easier for me and nicer because she can play in the front of the house outside and she won't be getting black knees or clothes from crawling.

Luci knows a few words now, it's probably hard for anyone besides us to understand her, but we do. She says "Yes, yeah, hi, hello, strawberries, please, thank you, daddy, juice (water or anything besides milk/formula), che-che (booby - I don't know where she got that name for it, but she definitely uses it for when she wants comfort booby, which I still give to her once in a while)." She mimics a lot and shakes her head "no", even when she means "yes", she shakes no, but then she switches to nodding up and down when she sees how to say "yes".

For a couple weeks she was going to sleep for naps and bedtime without crying or whining, she would just lay down and watch us leave. Then after my parents were here, she started crying again. She just started going to sleep quietly again a few days ago. I hope it sticks. It's so much more peaceful to see her lay down, instead of making the saddest face possible and "crying". I use quotes because within a few seconds of leaving the room, she usually stops as long as she isn't over tired.

Her favorite thing to eat is fruit and cheese, preferably the single wrapped slices of orange cheese. I give her the block cheese too, but she loves the single ones, probably because they melt in her mouth. She eats strawberries, blueberries, peaches, kiwi, asian pears, cantaloupe, bananas, grapes (peeled so far), mandarin oranges, pineapples, apples, raspberries, blackberries, that's all I can think of right now. I make her grilled cheese sandwiches often and cream cheese topped bread. She licks/eats the top off, then eats some of the bread. She also eats, hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, potato sticks (french fries, fried or homemade baked), broccoli, zucchini, peas, and sometimes corn. I try to change it up every week or couple weeks, otherwise she will get tired of things. I still have some trouble trying to think of things for her to eat. She can't eat everything we eat yet, since we eat stuff with a lot of hot spices. She isn't used to all the flavor, but we let her taste most of our food anyway, she just spits it back out.

Luci loves to eat Dutch Baby pancakes. Either Jason or I will make it on a weekend when he isn't working and she eats the same, minus the lemon/sugar/butter syrup. Sometimes she taste our sausage, but most of the time doesn't want it.

I need more ideas for food for her. She is getting bored of my food.

Does anyone know how to cook the grilled teriyaki chicken that a lot of Hawaiian BBQ places serve, it's always so moist and tender. I've made it before. Hmm, I make it, then I freeze or fridgerate it. Then it's hard and dry. I wish I didn't have to cook it fresh every single time. I guess that is the best way though, right? Luci loves the Hawaiian BBQ Chicken, sometimes beef too. She also loves rice.

Someday I will get back into writing on here, daily or at least a couple times a week. I hope I do anyway. I miss writing. I just don't have energy to sit here and write. My back is tired from the daily dishes and being a mommy. I just want to lay in bed and play on my phone a little, zone out without having anything else to worry about. There is always something to get done around the house, always something that needs cleaning, and always something. It never ends. Never.

Walking at 10 months

2011-07-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

Here is a short video of Luci walking at 10 months old. She walks very well when she isn't tired or sick. She was pretty tired in this video, but it was the best I could get at the time. She still crawls about 20% of the time or if she is really tired and falls too much, she will crawl. She loves crawling up the whole flight of stairs in our house. We really have to keep an eye on her...

Luci has 8 teeth now. I have a feeling there are a few more coming in because she woke up with a low fever last night and had it all day today too. She is so different when she isn't feeling well. Usually she is constantly moving and busy playing with her toys or trying to get someplace or something she shouldn't be getting into. When she has a fever or anything is wrong, she is very cuddly and rests her head on our bodies or shoulders or anywhere close to us. She isn't eating any of her normal food either today. Just yogurt. So I am hoping it's her teeth and nothing serious going on with her body. She has an appointment on Friday so we'll check in with the doctor then.

Gotta go. I'm exhausted.

We are trying to switch over to Verizon Wireless from AT&T and it didn't work like it was supposed to so there is nothing I can do till tomorrow. I'm super mad and pissed off about it. I should have done it as soon as the phones arrived by UPS, but I was busy taking care of my sick baby girl.

Where have I been?

2011-06-27T01:17:00.000-07:00

Running around after a 10 month old who walks between 2-10 steps at a time, by herself.

She crawls and climbs and crawls faster and walks all over the place now.

Making people food for her.

She eats the same food as 2-5 year olds eat. The only baby food she will let me feed her once in a while is applesauce varieties and baby oatmeal cereal. She will let me spoon feed her yogurt, but nothing else. Everything she has to hand feed herself or she will let me put food in her mouth sometimes too.

Changing diapers.

Luci likes to wiggle and squirm and crawl away when I try to lay her down for a diaper change, doesn't matter if it's wet or poop, she tries to escape about 99% of her diaper changes daily. Anyone have any suggestions? I try new toys, kitchen gadgets, paper - but she will eat it if I'm not fast enough. Nothing works.

Doing laundry.

It's endless. Jason helps fold when I have a few loads to fold at night and we have energy while watching TV.

Cooking.

Constant cooking means constant dishes. I do dishes 2-4 times day.

Cleaning the house.

No explanation needed.

Traveling from here to there and all over.

Vacation with my parents and family.
Vacation with my Husband.
Funeral for a close family friend.

Dealing with tantrums.

Luci got some of her Daddy's Korean hard headed attitude.

I've GOT to go to sleep now.

My husband got promoted to a Sergeant. SGT No. He truly earned this one. I'm so proud of him. He turned 30 today.

Sleep training three weeks later, plus a short trip

2011-04-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

Sleep Training
After three weeks of sleep training, Luci takes about 1-10 minutes to fall asleep in her crib at night, sometimes she will cry for 1-3 minutes, then the rest of the time she just stares and talks a little bit to herself.

For naps, she cries a little more sometimes anywhere from 1-30 minutes, but she will usually nap for an hour to an hour and a half at least. Some days it only takes a minute and others it takes 30 minutes. I love the one minute days. Sometimes I nap during one of her naps, if I'm super tired and the other nap I'll get the housework done.

Short Trip
This past weekend we went to Anaheim and Beverly Hills for 4 days. It was really tiring because Jason and I had shopping to do before the Military Ball (Spring Formal) and shopping is just a lot of work. I needed to buy shoes (I hate shoe shopping) and a purse for my dress. Jason needed a dress shirt and bow tie. It's not a lot, but it took a lot of time and energy to drive everywhere and get these things done. It was even harder because Luci was waking up at 5-6:00 AM every morning we were out there. Usually she will sleep till 7:00 AM at home. I was really sleep deprived, especially since it is so hard for me to fall asleep at night. Luci was really sleep deprived too. We kept her out late the first night we got there and then she had a LOT of trouble napping at a different house with new noises (barking dogs), new smells, and sharing a room too. I hope it isn't this hard in the future for trips.

We wanted to visit with more cousins, but were so drained from not sleeping enough and shopping, I couldn't do it. We also had to help my parents move a bunch of furniture out of my Grandma's house because they sold it last week and are in escrow now.

I'm not sure how much fun Luci had, but we did take her swimming at the hotel a couple times, even though it wasn't hot outside, the pool was heated enough for her. She loves swimming. I'm so glad. She had some stranger anxiety with my relatives. Even with my parents too. She warmed up after a while, but every time I came in the room, she kind of whined for me. I tried to not give into her every time and it seemed to help. My parents babysat during the shopping and ball. She is a good baby and it wasn't her fault she couldn't nap and couldn't sleep in those four days.

The Spring Formal was pretty fun, I was bored a little bit, but overall it was a fun experience and a lot of fun getting all dolled up for it. Jason and I danced together for the first time since we've known each other. That was special. We got one slow dance in and the rest upbeat dancing. I wore medium high heels and I STILL danced! I love the shoes I got for the ball. I'll have to take a picture of them later.

Since we got home, she is sleeping like normal again for bedtime. For nap time, it was a little harder, but I think she will get used to it in a few days. I hope so anyway.

We are all still recovering from our trip. Luci was tired all day and cranky. She took two naps in her crib, didn't want to eat lunch, and we went to the park and she didn't want to swing very much today (she usually loves the swing). Went grocery shopping and she didn't want to sit in the shopping cart, she just wanted me to carry her while I pushed the cart around. It's okay. I knew it wasn't a good day to go shopping with her, but we needed some food for dinner so I really had no choice since Jason was super busy and couldn't get off work early today. She fell asleep in the car after complaining, a minute after I took off towards home. We live less than 10 minutes from the grocery store so I left her in the car with the windows open in the garage while I unloaded everything and put things away. She needed a little cat nap to help get through dinner and her bedtime routine.

Happy Two Year Anniversary!
Oh and today is 2 years since our wedding! We had our wedding April 11, 2009. We actually eloped on paper March 12, 2009 though so we celebrate officially for the March date since we have to use that date for all documents. We still celebrate a little in April too, but nothing big.

Sleep Training

2011-03-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

We have been doing Sleep Training for bedtime and naptime with help from The Sleep Sense Program. We decided to do this cold turkey instead of checking in on her every 15-20 minutes. She cries harder and gets more upset if we check in on her and she doesn't get picked up.

The first time we tried to just let her cry it out, before I read the Sleep Sense guidebook was really bad. She cried for about 15 minutes, threw up, so we changed her clothes and put her down again, then she cried another hour straight. After that she was quiet and partially sleeping, but she would whimper a few times every hour to half hour. It was really hard on me to hear her whimpering and crying for the next few hours. Finally at 3:30 AM, I heard her crying again, I was still awake in bed, unable to sleep, so I went and got her and she slept between Jason and I. She woke up with a cough the next morning so we gave her a break in sleep training. She slept with us the next couple nights.

A couple nights before we started sleep training again, she slept in our bed, but she wouldn't go to sleep for at least 2 hours after we got in bed so she kept me up past midnight. I couldn't handle this anymore. I needed her in her bed. I love having her sleep with us once in a while, but not all the time and not when she is going to play, wiggle, push herself all the way up to the headboard, and talk for two hours after Jason goes to sleep.

We started again, after I read the Sleep Sense guidebook, on March 22. I started in the daytime for her second nap. The first nap, she slept with me in my bed.

I want to remember these things and I want Luci to be able to read this when she is older and has kids of her own. Here is what we went through, I wrote out everything in a notebook.

You can skip past the details of the days and read on to the next paragraph if you want.

DAY 1

Nap 2

first day of crying for her nap

1 hour of crying
15 minutes of sleeping

Bedtime
1 hour of crying
10 hours of sleeping with one wake up that lasted ten minutes before she went back to sleep

DAY 2

Nap 1
1 hour 10 minutes of cried (she would cry, fall asleep for a few seconds, and wake up crying again)

Nap 1 attempt 2
40 minutes of crying and sleeping every other few seconds
20 minutes of sleeping

Nap 2

day 1- bedtime, she fell asleep on her tummy.
later on, i flipped her over to her back.

50 minutes of crying and sleeping every other few seconds
45 minutes of sleeping (YAY!)

Bedtime
30 minutes of crying
12 hours of sleeping (she was really tired so she slept in the next day)

DAY 3

Nap 1
35 minutes of crying (crying and sleeping every other few seconds)
10 minutes of sleeping

Nap 2
15 minutes of sleeping in the car

Bedtime
25 minutes of straight crying
30 minutes of crying and sleeping every other few seconds
10 hours and 15 minutes of sleeping

DAY 4

day 3 bedtime

Nap 1
17 minutes of crying
41 minutes of sleeping

She took two more naps in the car since we had to go to Barstow for a doctor's appointment.

Bedtime
50 minutes of crying and sleeping every few seconds (i think she is testing us, but unable to stay awake)
11 hours of sleeping

DAY 5

Nap 1
34 minutes of crying
25 minutes of sleeping

Forgot to write down nap 2

Bedtime

day 6 nap (today) with her foot hanging out of the crib slat

17 minutes of crying
10 hours of sleeping

DAY 6

Nap 1
30 minutes of crying
1 hour 30 minutes of sleeping

Nap 2
45 minutes of crying on and off
15 minutes or so of sleeping

Bedtime
15 minutes of crying
SLEEPING (This is tonight.)

So her sleeping vs. crying is improving a little bit for naps and after 6 days, she is going to sleep faster for bedtime. It's still hard for me to listen to her cry for naps. For the first day or two I would sit in the room with her and tell her "it's nap time Luci", but it felt harder for her and for me so I stopped doing that. We leave the door open until she passes out. We let her sleep with a blanket now and she always cuddles up with it every night. In the daytime, she rolls around all over her crib and often passes out on her tummy. I just leave her like that, but I always check on her once she is quiet to make sure she isn't tangled up too much.

We used to get her to bed around 9 or 10 pm. Since we started sleep training, the first couple nights we got her in bed by 8:30 or 9PM, then after that we started getting her into her crib by 8pm. It's hard because Jason doesn't get home till 6PM or later and we usually try to eat dinner with her before her bath. Over the weekend, we ate dinner after we put her down.

I've got to get ready for bed now.

BTW: I'm on a different anti-depressant now and I'm much happier with this one. It is safe for breastfeeding and for the future if we decide to get pregnant ever again.

Backwards...

2011-03-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sleeping and Napping
Lately it's been getting harder and harder to put Luci to sleep in her crib. She used to talk herself to sleep after I fed and rocked her for a few minutes. Now she requires me to rock her to sleep for 20 minutes to an hour, plus I have to swaddle her otherwise she will wake up. I think it might be her teething, but I'm not sure. I hope this is a phase, although I am pretty sure it's more just her wanting to be held while she sleeps all the time. She gets rocked to sleep for naps, so she learned that she can demand it for bedtime too. The last week or two I've been rocking her to sleep and swaddling, then as soon as I start lowering her into her crib she starts crying. So it's taking me even longer to put her down. She won't let Jason put her to bed either. She fights him and cries for me. Luci starts crying hard as soon as I put her in her crib awake. If I let her cry for too long, then pick her up, she will choke from crying so hard and throw up. I don't think the ferber method will work for us. I'm just not sure. Putting her to bed at night has been a little stressful for me the last few weeks. I even let her sleep with me and Jason in our bed a couple nights ago because I couldn't get her to sleep in her crib.

Yoga
I'm registering Luci with the childcare services here on post so I can try to get to a yoga class a couple times a week. I'm not sure how she will react to me leaving her with complete strangers. It will only cost me $2/hour for a maximum of two hours per day. I went to yoga three times last week since my parents were visiting. It felt really good. I miss yoga. I'm so much happier when I have time to do yoga.

Swimming
We took Luci swimming for the first time this past Saturday. The water was a little cold, but after a little while she got used to it and she had so much fun in the water. I can't wait till it gets warmer so we can go to the kiddie pool.

Standing Up
All Luci wants to do these days is stand up and walk around holding my hands. It's hard to get anything done. She is the sweetest and cutest baby though. I love her, even though she doesn't let me do anything around the house anymore.

holding herself up standing

Just a few pictures...

2011-03-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

I haven't felt like writing lately or I've been too tired and cranky.

Luci weighs 16 pounds 9 ounces as of Monday, March 7. She just started doing push ups this past week and trying to fly. :)

Here are some recent pictures:

PUSH UPS or YOGA?

Just a few more days or weeks and she'll start crawling and I'll never get anything done again.

She LOVES standing up. She will pull herself up to her feet sometimes by holding our legs or hands.

We had to go and do studio pictures before she got any older. We got through 2 outfits and then she couldn't handle it anymore. She did really well, but we couldn't get her to give us her big happy tongue sticking out smile. That's okay, her pictures are still cute and sweet. I'll have to take her out to some grassy area later on and do my own photo shoot when it gets warmer. She smiles for me.

Army Pics

2011-02-12T00:11:00.001-08:00

Here are some fun pictures that we took during a Regimental event where we got to explore inside the military tanks.

GRUMP

2011-02-12T00:09:00.000-08:00

Bad Mood
I've been in a bad mood since 12:51 PM today. I can't seem to shake the feeling. I've done everything I could possibly do around here as for housework and stuff, plus took care of Luci all day. I've been keeping myself busy trying let it all go. I got dinner taken care of, gave Luci a bath, read her books, put her to bed, watched a netflix show. I even made Jason go to bed without me which I never do. I always go to bed with him or right after him if I haven't gotten Luci down for bed before he needs to go to sleep. I can't shake my bad mood. I can't shake my grumpiness. I hate it. It sucks being in a bad mood.

I don't know why, but I proved to myself that I could do everything today. I can handle doing all the housework, taking care of Luci and taking care of Jason and our meals. I didn't make breakfast or anything, but I made Kim Chee fried rice for lunch and defrosted steak and made rice for dinner before Jason got home from work. I took care of all the dishes in the sink and the dishwasher today, didn't even use the dishwasher again. I got the baby laundry going, it's in the dryer now. I know it doesn't sound like I did THAT much today, but it was a lot. Oh, I also made 9 phone calls for my POC (Point of Contact) phone list that I'm responsible for the FRG (Family Readiness Group) of Jason's Platoon. That was something I've been putting off for a while. I talked to a couple people directly, but mostly I left messages. It's time consuming, but I agreed to do it. Mostly so I can meet people and be more aware of what's happening.

Nauseous
I've been feeling a little sick in the evenings especially. It's only every other day though. I have been trying to taper off of my anti-depressant medication (Paxil) because I don't like the side effects of it. I want to taper off of this one and start on a different one if I need to. So I've been taking a half pill every other day, and a whole pill every other day. I can feel the difference when I take that half pill though.

For Sale
I've been posting a few things online to sell, either with my eBay account or on the local Fort Irwin Yard Sale website. Trying to sell some things and make a little money as well as get rid of things I don't use or need anymore.

Coffee
I've been making one cup of Peet's Coffee with my French Press lately. I skipped yesterday, but I started again today. So far I've had coffee 4 times this week. It's so good too. I miss coffee. I don't care whether it's caffeinated or not, I just love the flavor. It's also been making me more energetic so I can get a lot more done and have energy to play with Luci still. I ground the coffee so that it's mostly decaf, about 90% decaf and I put a small handful of regular coffee in it too into the batch I ground and filled up my canister with. I think the caffeine affects Luci a little bit though. She gets a little cranky in the early evenings. Should I dump the ground coffee and regrind more coffee so that I'm drinking all decaf? I know decaf still has about 25% caffeine in it, but that much doesn't seem to affect Luci at all.

Weaning
I've weaned Luci a little bit from the breastfeeding. She gets "booby" about 3-4 times a day instead of 5-6 times a day now. Mostly it depends on her, but sometimes she demands it, but she has been pretty good about taking the bottle. Sometimes I unlatch her from me and immediately put the bottle in her mouth and then she will sneak off and go back onto me. It's kind of funny and cute too. I don't mind at all right now. I just don't want her wasting so much of her energy on me sucking since babies do burn a LOT of calories just from sucking. Which is one of the big reasons I don't care to get her on a pacifier. She hasn't gotten the hang of a pacifier anyway. I rarely give her one. Only when she is super upset in the car and she chews on it a little while, then continues to cry since all she wants is to be held and not sitting or sleeping in her carseat. She burns more than enough calories just laying on the floor wiggling away. She seems like a pretty skinny baby, although she has got a cute little belly now and big sweet cheeks.

Solids
We started carrots a few days ago. So far so good. We also did bananas before that for 6 days, but stopped short since she started having what seemed like diarrhea. We'll revisit bananas in a month or two when she is older. I think bananas are messier than carrots, even though carrots have the bright orange color. Banana's look gross after they go from fresh to old. They get stuck in the washcloths too. I think after carrots we'll do either sweet potatoes or green beans. We'll be traveling next week, so I might do partial homemade and partial packaged baby food.

Surgery
Jason is having eye surgery (LASIK) done next week. I hope it all goes well. The army does it for the Soldiers free. We just have to pay for travel and lodging. It's going to be done at Camp Pendleton, so we're planning to stay out there for 2 days, then in San Diego for another 2 days. I hope he doesn't wear me out while he is in the healing stage for a few days. I hope I get to go out with Luci to the beach if it's warm enough.

Shopping
We need to buy Jason good sunglasses and myself a dress for the Military Ball. The ball is at the Disneyland Hotel in April. I am still 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight so I can't fit any of my old dresses. If they looked good on me now, I would totally wear one of those instead of buying a new one, but I am sure they look horrible. I kind of hate my body right now. I miss my yoga body.

Friend
I made one friend and we've hung out a few times. It's really nice to have someone just down the street to text and say, "come over."

Naps and cooking

2011-02-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

Naps & Sleeping
I'm trying to teach Luci to fall asleep on her own again. She has been wanting me to rock her during her naps (always) and for bedtime (the last couple weeks). So I'm trying to get back to the point where she puts herself to sleep instead, for both. The bedtime routine has worked the last two nights. I hold her for a few minutes and make sure she is calm, then I put her down in her crib and rub her tummy till she quiets down again, then I let her hold my hands and chew them until she calms down enough and lets go and then sucks on her own hands till she falls asleep. I usually walk out of her room quietly soon after she lets go of my fingers.

For her naps, I hold her till she falls asleep, then sometimes I swaddle her and put her in her crib. She might fuss for a couple seconds, then she quiets down. This worked yesterday and she ended up napping for THREE hours in the afternoon. Today as soon as she fell asleep in my arms, I put her in her crib with her blanket, and let her put herself to sleep. She is somewhat sleeping right now, she keeps waking up a little bit though. Maybe I should swaddle her so she will sleep better.

Cooking
I got so much done during her nap. I made baby food carrots with the new steamer set and food processor. Also prepared most of the things for dinner: breaded pork chops and risotto. That took a lot of work shredding two types of cheeses and making breadcrumbs. I had to wash the food processor about 5 times in one afternoon. Then I realized we were out of eggs.

Grocery Shopping
I planned to go to the Commissary as soon as she woke up and ate. You have to realize I NEVER go to the store with Luci alone, so this was a big step for me. I always wait for Jason to come home and go for me or take us together or go another day when Jason can go too. She can sit up now, so I wanted to try out the shopping cart cover. Plus, I was determined to make dinner. Oh and Jason worked past 7:00 PM last night so there wasn't any point in waiting for him to get out of work.

This is the Floppy Seat shopping cart / highchair cover my Mom bought for Luci. It works pretty well, not as easy to flip out and fold up into the sewn in bag as they make it sound since it's so fluffy, but it is good because it's padded and makes it easier for her to sit it while she is still a little wobbly while we're moving. She really enjoyed shopping with me. She looked at everything. I held her hand a little bit when we were moving or just looking at the shelves since she would lean over and not be able to bring herself back up. She did well until the point I got to the self check out (I didn't have that much to buy so I didn't want to go through the regular checkout). I went to the front of the cart to unload and she cried after a minute because she didn't see me anymore. All she saw was a stranger, a Soldier behind us at the next checkout stand. I wonder if this is the beginning of stranger anxiety. I'm actually glad she cried when I was gone, she knows who I am and knows I'm not supposed to leave her side when she is in a new environment. So I had to finish checking out and paying the machine while holding her and then one of the worker ladies helped me load the bags into my cart. I put her back in the cart to go to the car. She was fine.

We got home and I tried starting the risotto, she was hungry so I gave her a bottle and got the risotto on the stove. Constant stirring and adding soup stock. I also made the pork chops all ready to cook and put them in the fridge till Jason got home. About an hour later she fell asleep on my shoulder watching me, then Jason got home and she woke up. I guess she just needed a catnap. I finished cooking after Jason took over Luci.

Dinner was pretty awesome. I don't cook all that often anymore, not like this.

Anyway, gotta go Luci isn't napping anymore.

My Sick Baby

2011-02-07T19:12:00.000-08:00

Luci got sick with a bad cold about a week ago, she also started teething (two bottom front bumps on her gums), so between the two she wasn't happy for a while. She wouldn't take any bottles for three days, but she would nurse (even though I make 10-20% of what she needs) at least she was getting a little bit. She would still eat her solids once a day though. She finally got better this weekend, but also got an ear infection too. She is on antibiotics now. I got sick about 5 days after her, then Jason got sick about 3 days after me. We're all feeling much better now. I'm still getting over my head congestion and have a lot of icky coughs that make me run to the sink.

Luci is sitting up by herself without support for a long time. Maybe ten minutes before she gets tired or falls over. She started sitting up at 5 months and 1 week old. At first it was just a minute or two, but a week later it's a lot longer. She has really good balance and loves sitting up and playing.

thanks again

2011-01-25T11:20:00.001-08:00

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Walking and Swaddling

2011-01-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

I've been taking Luci out for long walks lately a few times a week since we got back here after Christmas. We were walking to Jason's work through the desert, Luci in the Moby Wrap and Moo on leash. Visit for a couple minutes, then we walked back home. Other times I just walked around the neighborhood, sometimes with Moo and sometimes without.

Today I put her in the stroller and we took the LONG way to Jason's work. Finally got there and hung out for a while taking a break. We left for home and had to take the extra long way home since I didn't want to push the stroller on the bumpy dirt road again. About half way there uphill, Luci started crying. I got to a bus stop and took her out and sat with her for a while, but she wanted her afternoon nap. I guess she is getting used to her afternoon nap at home, so I carried her and pushed the stroller the rest of the way home. That was pretty exhausting. We just got home a little while ago. We were outside for a good hour and a half. WOW.

Swaddling

I swaddled her in my favorite swaddling blanket and she is sleeping in her crib now. I only swaddle her for naps. At night she still goes to sleep on her own in her crib. It's quite nice. I love these aden + anais® 100% cotton muslin swaddling wraps, they are so soft and thin, but strong and perfect for swaddling, wrapping, using as a nursing cover and they are extra large so they work for tall babies and infants as well. I want to buy more of their stuff later on.

I think my weight is going down slightly from walking so much. I'm not trying to lose weight or eating to lose weight, but I still am aware of how much I weigh. I'm still about 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Mostly in my belly and around there.

Weight: 144lbs

Got a big shot in my wrist

2011-01-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

I went to the Orthopedic Doctor this morning and she gave me a big shot in my wrist filled with steroid and a numbing agent to help with the inflammation and pain I've been having. I'm tingly and a little numb, plus it's a little achy, but it feels better already. I also got a better brace to wear. Hopefully it gets better in the next week or so. I can go back for a follow up in 6 weeks. If it's not better, then I can get another shot or there is a possibility of surgery, but that's if it's really bad.

Can't really type with the wrist brace on so I took it off to write for a few minutes. Heh heh.

Luci is taking a nap right now. She was really fussy all day yesterday. Not sure if she was just having a bad day or if she is starting her teething pain. She has been biting really hard on my knuckles and has a pretty strong bite. Ouch!

She is eating a lot more rice cereal now. So we're ready to start something new. We got out the food processor that has never been opened and we're going to wash it and make green beans for her today if I get my act together. I'm skyping with my sister right now and she said they did all the single grain cereals first, and then after that they did the vegetables and fruits. Maybe I need to go buy some different single grain cereals? I wish we had more of a list to go by...our doctors don't provide those kinds of things. Oh well.

If any of you have skype and want to video chat with Luci, let me know. I'll give you my screen name. We keep in touch with Aunties and Grandparents that way.

Better get going and wash the food processor.

Breastfeeding, Nursing, Booby time

2011-01-20T23:37:00.000-08:00

I'm still nursing. The only time I don't give her a 5 oz bottle of formula after I nurse is the first feeding in the morning. All the other times she gets a bottle after I nurse her for about 10-15 minutes on each side. Depends on how much swallowing I hear from her or if she is fussing while on me.

I'm just finishing up reading this book called "The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to MAKING MORE MILK" by by Diana West, BA, IBCLC and Lisa Marasco, MA, IBCLC.

I should have read this a LONG time ago, maybe during the first week of breastfeeding it could have helped. I highly recommend purchasing this book and reading it if you're pregnant and thinking about breastfeeding or currently are even if you've already started. It has a lot of good information. It will help you to know ahead of time things you can do when the time comes and you're not sure whether you're making enough milk.

I know I'm not alone in my troubles to produce milk and I'm not the only one who hasn't given up after 5 months of having trouble.

If you're pregnant and going to breastfeed, find a Lactation Consultant in your area before you have your baby and get a hold of them so you have a contact when you start nursing. There are some free ones, connected with Hospitals and you don't always have to have your baby at the hospital. Ask your hospital if there is a Lactation Consultant that works there (not just a Lactation Specialist). It's very important to have access to someone.

Just know that it hurts. And it might hurt for a good 4 weeks, but if you keep going and keep nursing, with the pain and sore nipples and cracking or bleeding, it WILL GET BETTER. It really does. And hopefully you won't have trouble like I have, but even if you do it's worth it to have that connection with your baby.

In the beginning it doesn't feel relaxing or like downtime for you, but later on it is. If I didn't breastfeed at all, I wouldn't have much time to relax. Now breastfeeding is relaxing for me. Just ten minutes here and there throughout the day is nice. I play scrabble on my iPod while nursing and check email on there too. I used to watch TV (netflix instant), but I ran out of shows to watch that don't have bad language in them. Luci hears and notices noises and talking a lot more now, so I don't want to watch a lot of TV while she's awake. I hardly ever turn the TV on in the daytime. Although I really miss having cable. Maybe after we sell our condo in Illinois we can get cable. Anyone need a one bedroom condo in Lisle, IL?

I don't relax much when I give her a bottle since I have to hold her and the bottle and make sure she is in a good position, all that fun stuff. I am just glad she has a way to get what she needs for nutrition. I can't give her everything through my breasts, but I can give her a little and I think she is happy with what I can provide. That makes me happy too.

Grandparents

2011-01-16T22:56:00.000-08:00

My parents are visiting right now. They are leaving tomorrow morning and just got here Friday evening, it's just a short quick visit on their way home from Las Vegas. I really like having them visit and play with Luciela. I appreciate having an extra hand to hold her while I do laundry or clean up or organize something or just sleep.

The only thing is I get more tired when they are here. I don't know if it's because I do more around the house or we go out more often or what. I'm just super exhausted today. I wish they could stay longer so I can make more nursing cookies. I just cut up a couple napa cabbages to make kim chee tomorrow morning before they leave. I'm pooped out.

Plus, they sleep in our living room on our sofa (it's the size of a twin size bed when you take the pillows off). Our house is pretty small so there is not much extra space around the house for luggage and visitors. So our living room gets taken over by stuff and people. It's just a little more crowded. I wish we had a bigger house, but the only way to get one without moving off post and without Jason having to drive an extra 45 minutes one way everyday would be to GET PREGNANT again and have another baby in hopes of getting a 3 bedroom house. Not what I want to do right now.

Good night, Moon.

Four month old check up

2011-01-11T15:19:00.000-08:00

Well, Luci is actually a week and a half away from being 5 months old, but it's very hard to get an appointment on her exact monthly birthdays.

Luci weighs 14 lbs 5 oz. She is 24.75" long. She gained 5 lbs 5 oz in two months and another 2 inches. She weighs less than her cousin Nate (2 months younger) and is taller than him. I think she is lighter than my other friend's babies too, who are also younger than her, but she is taller than them as well.

Her length is 56%, weight is 53%, and head is 28%.

Luci got three needle shots and one liquid. She coughed and complained this time for the liquid, then she turned red first, then started crying for the shots. She did really well though. I snapped her clothes back together and held her, she cried for a few minutes, then fell asleep about 10 minutes later. We left her in her fleece pajama outfit so she would be nice and comfy and easy to dress for her appointment. She is taking a long nap right now. She hasn't been fussy, just doesn't want to play in her excersaucer or by herself. I will be doing a lot of "dako" (carrying) today and tomorrow. She is SUCH A GOOD BABY!

Milk Blisters

2011-01-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

I have milk blisters, blocked nipple pores.

It seems as though my breastfeeding problems have been endless. One after another, yet I continue to stand tall and nurse. Why? I'm not completely sure. I just keep going because I want my baby to be a breastfed baby.

Motherlove More Milk Plus Alcohol Free
I'm trying one last thing for my milk supply. I just started this last Friday. I think it's been helping a little because this morning after Luci slept 12 hours, I woke up extremely hard and full. It hurt so much I couldn't believe the pain. I fed Luci and when she was done the top half of my breasts were soft, but the bottom half were still hard and painful. It didn't get any better through the day. I called the OB office and talked to the Lactation Specialist, I called my Sister for advice, I called my former Lactation Consultant, but no answer. After pumping several times, nursing, painful massages, hot showers and tylenol, my left side is much better. The right side still has full ducts and my nipple is very sore. I was in pain all day and it sucked. I have an appointment tomorrow. So does Luci. She is getting her 4 month shots. Wish us luck.

Washing Bottles Everyday
I don't know if I'm lazy or too tired to stand by the sink and wash all the bottles and nipples, but I threw everything into the nearly empty dishwasher and started it because I don't feel like washing tonight. I also don't want Jason to feel like he needs to wash them in the morning either. He's exhausted and has every right to be.

VEGAS, BABY!
Las Vegas was fun, but tiring. We won't be going back there anytime in the next several years with Luci. Seems like everywhere we ate, we had to walk through a smokey casino's to get there. At least the restaurants were smoke free, but you could still smell the smoke from the casino right next to it, open air and shared rooms. Definitely not a good thing for a baby. We had fun at the M&M store and got to walk around a bit. We just don't want to expose Luci to more indoor smoking again for a while. It took us a while to get there, but coming home it only took us 3 hours since Luci slept for 2.5 of them. She still went to sleep at 10:15pm and continued to sleep for the next 12 hours.

Mommy's Wrist

2011-01-09T23:13:00.000-08:00

Great article from the New York Times explaining what "Mommy's Wrist" is...

FITNESS; When Mothering Is a Pain in the Wrist

By LIA MILLER

Published: June 06, 2004

FOR Cynthia Frey, the mysterious pain in her wrist started about a week after she gave birth to her son, Jack, in March of last year. At first, she thought she had banged her hand. But as days went by, it started to hurt more and more until the pain was so severe, she had trouble holding her baby.

''It was a shooting pain from my thumb up my wrist and it was constant,'' recalled Mrs. Frey, 34, from Manhattan. After several visits to her doctor and weeks of taking Motrin to no avail, Mrs. Frey consulted a hand specialist. She walked into his office holding her son and, in tears, said she thought she had broken her wrist. The doctor took one look and said, ''I know what it is, I see women like this all the time.''

She had DeQuervain's Tendonitis, a painful condition caused by inflammation of the tendons in the thumb. So common is the condition among women who have recently given birth that it is sometimes called ''new mom's syndrome.''

''It arises from repetitive lifting activities using improper technique,'' said Dr. Louis Catalano III, attending physician at the C.V. Starr Hand Surgery Center at St. Luke's/Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan, who treated Mrs. Frey.

In Mrs. Frey's case, as with so many new mothers, and a few new dads, the ''repetitive lifting'' was the everyday act of picking up her baby.

''When you're scooping your child up, after you get fatigued you tend to let your wrists drop to the ground,'' Dr. Catalano said, ''and when your fingers are angled down, that's what's causing those tendons to stretch over the bone.''

There are no statistics on the number of women afflicted, but Dr. Catalano estimates that he sees two to three new patients a week with DeQuervain's Tendonitis.

New mothers are particularly susceptible, specialists say, because the fluid gain they experience during pregnancy causes the tendons to swell and chafe against the surrounding encasement. The tendons and joints also become lax toward the end of pregnancy to give a woman extra flexibility during birth. In this compromised state, the tendons and muscles are suddenly required to pick up and put down a heavy baby many times a day.

Mrs. Frey received a cortisone shot to reduce inflammation and was prescribed a brace to immobilize the wrist. She began meeting with a physical therapist, who showed her exercises to strengthen the area and new ways to pick up the baby.

Still, she said she was distressed and embarrassed to have a condition that nobody had ever heard of and that interfered with the first year of motherhood, which is supposed to be a blissful time. This was a feeling shared by Marcia Comas, 34, of Brooklyn, who developed DeQuervain's Tendonitis two months after her second child was born.

''I couldn't even hold my baby any more,'' Mrs. Comas said, ''but I didn't tell anybody because I didn't want everybody thinking, 'Ugh, she's always complaining.' '' Her shame led her to delay seeking treatment, which only made matters worse.

Even when women are aware of the problem, it can be a tall order to think about positioning your hands correctly every time you have to attend to your child.

''When you have a little kid that's all over the place, you don't think, 'Oh, I should put my thumb this way or that.' It's like, 'Let me get him out of danger,' '' Mrs. Comas said.

As with any severe sprain or strain, there is no magic-bullet cure. Some people find that the pain is permanently eased by a visit or two to the doctor and a cortisone injection. But for many, the pain lingers, returns or even gets worse.

There is a menu of treatments, said Winnie Tsui, an occupational therapist and hand therapist at the Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine at New York University Medical Center in Manhattan.

''We can immobilize the area'' with splints, Ms. Tsui said. Another option is ultrasound therapy, during which cortisone cream is applied to the skin, heightening the effectiveness of the treatment, she said. There are also exercises to strengthen the wrist.

But even splints can create a challenge for someone who is holding or breast-feeding a baby. ''One woman was worried about the hardness of the splint,'' Ms. Tsui said. ''We created a special splint out of soft material.''

Despite the treatment options, experts say it is better to prevent the problem whenever possible. Dr. Catalano said that when picking up or holding a baby, it is important to keep the wrist straight, not angled down or in an awkward position. Those who do develop symptoms should seek help immediately, before they get worse.

Just ask Mrs. Frey, whose inflammation progressed, causing her to develop a cyst at the base of her thumb. She chose surgery, which left her pain-free for the first time in a year. ''I felt like the needle was taken out of the foot of the elephant,'' she said.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/06/health/fitness-when-mothering-is-a-pain-in-the-wrist.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

The Birth Story of Luciela Yukimi No

2011-01-06T23:42:00.000-08:00

This is an edited email I wrote a friend way back soon after we had Luci. This is the closest I can get to writing a Birth Story of the labor and hospital moments before Luci popped out so I decided to just cut and paste and edit since I don't think I'll have time to write much more about it. Enjoy...

I wrote this on Wednesday, Sep 1, 2010 at 12:15 PM.

HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE CONTRACTIONS without an epidural? They hurt so bad I was crying before, during, after, and completely miserable. I decided I didn't have to suffer like this, so I got the epidural. It was too much, I couldn't feel anything, my legs were completely numb. I didn't like it, but at least I could smile again. I got the Pitocin to speed up contractions around 730am, then got the epidural at 11am, they broke my water at 1130am. i think i was still 3cm, close to 4cm...so they bumped up the PIT a lot and after that is when i didn't think i could handle these contractions much longer. I felt pain in the corner of my leg/thigh, for a few hours, it was bad pain....the epidural didn't spread over there, I tried turning to my side too. at least it started working in that spot before i had to start pushing. the pain hurt so much i didn't know how i could possible push. so yeah, i couldn't do it naturally. i wish i could have, but it's okay. i still can't believe you did. by 2pm, i was fully dilated. we had to find jason because MY MOM sent him away to let my sister's family into the gate to get on base...they were stuck since they had a rental. needed an escort. he got back in ten minutes -- the doctor waited for him. he didn't want to go at all, but my mom made him. i guess it was better to get them in now, then right after the baby was born...right?

jason got back at 210pm, we started pushing within 5 minutes and the baby was out within 24 minutes after that. we started laboring at home around 8pm the night before, contraction got regular from 10pm, then we went to the hospital at 330a, they told us to come back at 630 and we got admitted after that -- only because we agreed to the PITocin. i didn't want to suffer at home anymore. got the point where i just wanted the baby out soon...not tomorrow or in a couple days. maybe the second baby will be easier? ha. i can't even think about that right now.

i had a 2nd degree tear out of 4. the doc said it's better to tear naturally, than to have to cut. i didn't realize the 2nd degree still means you tear from front to back, but only on the outside....3 and 4 means you tear inside and your poo comes out of the vaginal area. so yeah, i'm happy knowing that my 2nd degree is not poopy.

i'm healing, but i get itchy and uncomfortable. also the contractions with breastfeeding hurt and i'm still bleeding now, but not as bad. it's more annoying. some days are more painful than others. i've been taking motrin and tylenol around the clock.

breastfeeding is a lot better now. i still get sore, but my left side is pretty good. my right side is the bad side. i'm going to see the LC again this afternoon for a follow up. last time i got a nipple shield to help protect while it heals. i used it for a day and figured out that it made my pain worse. so i stopped. i just have big nipples. the right one is bigger and odd shaped so it has more problems.

i get shooting pains in the right side and sometimes it starts to express. so i guess i'll be sleeping in a bra for the next year or so. ha ha.

finally bought three more nursing bras. these are more comfy for sleeping than the others i have already for going outside the house.

we did 6 BR tests from the day she was born till last friday. the doc said she might have another one on her 2 week check up. it hurts to see her in pain. plus the nurse who did it the last 3 times, is really rough on her foot, we don't like him at all. the lady nurse was gentle and only poked her once, not twice like the male nurse, plus the female didn't drip blood everywhere. the male dripped blood on diaper, pad, legs, gloves, etc.

the LC gave me a medela hand pump. it seems to work much better than the hand pump i bought. it IS still quite a bit of work to sit there and pump though. do you remember how much you rented a hospital grade pump for?

our baby wants to sleep through the night the last three nights. i have to wake her up and bother her so i can feed her every four hours. it's crazy. she doesn't want to wake up and when she does, she will nurse for 10-15 minutes, fall asleep, then i can't wake her up again to continue nursing.

we took baby to the ER at 4am for weight and body check since she sleeps so heavily and isn't much interested in eating at night. everything is fine. it's just annoying to get different answers from diff docs and nurses at the ER. the advice nurse on the phone said to take her in. i didn't know they say that every time just to cover their asses. ha.

the days have been rough because she either wants to sleep while held, or nurse every 30-45-60 minutes. if she is being held while asleep, she'll sleep longer. at least she sleeps in her crib at night with no problem. maybe i should try putting her down for naps in her crib instead of the pack and play infant snuggler.

she only gained 1 ounce in 5 days since her last weight check. so she is still under her birthweight by 8 ounces. she is supposed to be back to her birthweight within two weeks. her check up is tuesday. i don't really want to supplement with formula, but if the baby needs it, then i guess we have to, right? i just don't want her to stop taking the breast.

END

Endnote: To my friends who are currently pregnant and for future notation, if I get pregnant again and have to do this again, I don't want the PITocin and I want to take another lamaze class that is taught by a good teacher...

The PITocin makes labor pains 10 time worse I hear. It was bad without it, but man....they just keep coming and coming and you see the pain level on those monitors and your husband sees it and tells you that was a bad one, you're like, yeah i know, it's inside of me. DON'T GET THE PITOCIN.

You're welcome to email me if you have questions.

Naps and Mommy's Wrist

2011-01-06T23:24:00.000-08:00

Naps
Luci has started taking three short naps the last few days. I guess she is getting so much stimulation in between, she needs more naps. I still swaddle and rock her to sleep, but I can lay her down (sometimes) and get a few things done. Usually her naps are 20-45 minutes long.

Today I gave her rice cereal earlier in the day and she took a longer afternoon nap. I cleaned up the office area and put a bunch of stuff away and organized the living room area a little more. We are working well with the small space we have. There is still a lot to do in the office section, but one day I'll get there. One day. It's one of those things Jason can't really help me with. The only way he can help me is when I give him a pile to go through and tell him to shred what he doesn't need and put the rest in a folder. Most of the junk is mine (ours), but mostly mine that I need to deal with. I think the office is the messiest most unorganized space in the house. I wish it had a door and it's own room so I can just shut it when Luci starts crawling, but it doesn't. It's an open area between the kitchen and the living room.

She is going to sleep around 10-10:30 PM at night these days. It seems to be getting later. Then she wakes up around 8:00 AM more or less. I need to wake up earlier, but I let her wake me up since I stay up after she goes down. She puts herself to sleep at night. Sometimes by softly talking or just sucking her hand. She is amazing. We are extremely blessed to have such a good baby.

Jason has been waking up at 4:50 AM every morning this week for work at 5:00 AM, training some new guys. He is pretty worn out by 9:00 PM, so he is going to sleep a little earlier now. I don't mind at all. I love him so much.

Las Vegas for Fun
We're going to Las Vegas this weekend for a two-day trip with my parents for CES (Consumer Electronics Show), then I might go back later in the week for a promo show, but that depends if my parents feel like picking Luci and I up at home. I can't wait to show Luci the water show and hotels, she loves looking at everything. She enjoys fish tanks too.

4-month Check Up
Luci has a 4-month doctor appointment and shots Tuesday. The 2-month shots went really smooth, the day wasn't bad at all, she was normal and playful the next day. I think she might be affected a little more since she is older now. We'll see.

Mommy's Wrist
I got my wrist checked out today. My girl friend had the same problem after she had her baby (364 days before Luci was born). Her doctor called it "de quervain's synovitis" so I mentioned that to my doctor since they aren't very thorough with their research. I got an ugly brace to use for a couple weeks until I get an appointment through referral to an Orthopedics specialist. Luckily they are here on post and I don't have to go far to be seen. I can't wear the brace and take care of Luci so I'm just going to wear it at night.

I better get some sleep...I have to pack tomorrow as soon as my parents get here and can watch Luci for a little while.

Husband, Solids, Rolling, and Nursing

2011-01-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

Husband
Jason is watching Luci right now, he told me I can relax and do my own thing for a little while till she is ready for her bedtime feeding. He is a wonderful husband, I really couldn't ask for anything more or better. I always thought it was just a wish to have a good husband, didn't really expect to find one, it's not like I was making a list of what my husband needs to be before I married him. You can't tell what kind of Daddy they are going to be until they become one. Dreams do come true. Remember that.

Solids
We started Luci on solids January 1, 2011. She makes a really cute icky face when she feels the rice cereal in her mouth. We made the first batch, but it didn't turn out right so we threw it out after letting her try a little of it. The second batch is the instant kind from the store. We're going to try and make it again later, but we need to buy a different type of rice first. She hasn't had any weird reactions physically to the cereal. I think she likes tasting and feeling something different in her mouth. She has been watching every bite I take and trying to grab my plate and the food on our plates for a month now. We're not really in a rush to get her to eat other solids, we're just taking it slow since she is still young.

Next week she gets her 4 month old shots, even though she turned 4 months old a couple weeks ago.

I'm having a weird wrist problem with my left hand. It's been hurting for a few weeks now, but it makes it hard to lift Luci up sometimes or even carry her. I'm going to get it checked out tomorrow.

Rolling
Lucy started rolling while we were in the Bay Area before Christmas. Her first roll was from her tummy to her back on December 22, 2010. She was 4 months and 1 day old. Since then she has rolled about 5-6 times. She pushes up on her hands and stretches her head and back up till she flips herself over. It's the cutest thing.

Nursing
Yes, believe it or not I am still nursing. A lot of people ask why I even bother trying to continue when I make so little. It's partially for Luci and the other part is for myself. I just want the connection. She prefers the boob, rather than the bottle. She has started to reject the bottle occasionally, about 4 times this week. I try to give her a bottle and she will cry and make a big fuss until she gets booby. I need to start weaning her, but it's really hard. I started a little before we left Northern Cal, but since Jason is gone at work during most of her daytime feedings, it's hard to wean her in the daytime. I don't want to stop her morning or night time feeding yet. My right nipple is really sore and hurting lately. I'm not sure why. I've been using the cream, but it doesn't seem to be working. It's weird, sometimes I have more milk on the left side or the right side. I'm really not stressed about the breast feeding. It was a little stressful when as soon as I started trying to wean her, she started rejecting the bottle, but it's not a big deal right now. I probably make an ounce or less total between both breasts. That is how much I got if I pumped instead of fed her. Pretty bad.

She takes 4 ounces in a bottle still. For a few weeks she was taking more 4-6 ounces, but then after that she started spitting up a lot, so we dropped back down to 4 oz and she is satisfied with that. Lately, she is leaving an ounce or half an ounce left and being full. Guess those weeks were a big growth spurt.

Kim Chee
I made Kim Chee again the other day, first time I've done it completely myself since before we had Luci. It came out pretty good. I think it could have been a little more spicy, but it still tastes good. We had three batches that either Jason or my Mom helped make and they came out pretty bad. We missed good kim chee. :)

Diapers
We've been cheating on cloth diapers for quite a while now. At first it was just because we were on vacation and staying at my or Jason's parents. Now our "excuse" is that we have so many disposables, she is going to grow out of them if we don't use them at home. Jason's mom bought so many diapers while we were visiting we have a case of small size 1-2 diapers to finish using. She is already wearing size 2 diapers, but she fits the 1-2 okay still, just not at night. Anyway, we still plan on going back to cloth....eventually.

Gotta run...Mommy duty.

Time is flying

2011-01-04T21:30:00.001-08:00

Luci is growing so quickly. She

[That's how far I got during the day. How do moms find time to blog? Luci only takes short naps because she sleeps all night long. I've got to get back upstairs and read books and hopefully she will go to bed soon. I'm too tired to stay up tonight and blog.]

2010-12-19T17:09:00.000-08:00

Three Months

Christmas (3 months 3 weeks)

Playing with her cup toys

Luci loves books and toys now. She is very engaged in her toys and likes to chew them or taste them. Keeps herself busy laying in her jungle gym.

Jason is back with us now

2010-12-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

Jason came back to the Bay Area yesterday. It's so good to have him back in our lives. We missed him so much. Luci's changed so much.

We had Luci's belated 100th day Korean celebration yesterday. A few of my friends came to visit and it was great to see them all. The food was great. I didn't drink, but Jason's Mom and Korean relatives drank a case of Soju and a couple bottles of wine. They were pretty drunk and loud. Luckily, Jason and his cousin were sober so they had a designated driver and I had a husband to help me give Luci a bath and try to get her to sleep.

Luci did really well with all the loud voices and noise around. The only thing different was she wasn't taking her bottle like normal. Only would drink one or two ounces instead of the normal four ounces. I know I'm not producing more milk, I just think she was distracted. She woke up at 4:45 AM this morning, which is the earliest in a long time. She didn't want to go back to sleep either, even though it was still dark outside. So Jason and I finally got up and went downstairs to play. She fell asleep after a while and I wrapped her up and we fell back asleep on the bed with her between us for a good hour.

We're going to stay in the Bay Area till a couple days after Christmas, then head back home. I'm looking forward to living in our own house again. I have no idea how we are going to get all our stuff, plus new stuff, back down to our house. My parents will be stopping by in January on their way to Las Vegas, so we'll probably leave what we can't fit with them to bring later.

Luci's really pushing on her hands now during tummy time and stretches her head and neck all the way up. She also is starting to roll to her sides a little. She can stand on her legs for a long time if you hold and balance her body, she's been standing with help for a while now. She grabs everything within reach and gnaws on it, drool's buckets, and is still beautiful.

Her new little cousin (my sister's new baby Nathaneal) is two months younger and almost weighs as much as she does. With clothes on her last weight was about 13.6 while subtracting her weight from mine when carrying her.

I'm still 10-13 pounds over my prepregnancy weight, but I'm not trying to lose it. My stomach is still big. I just want to be a good mom.

Love & War

2010-11-19T00:19:00.000-08:00

I didn't really want to post that card for everyone to see, but I wanted my $25 credit towards future purchases with Shutterfly.

Luci and I are up in Northern California. I haven't really gone anywhere alone since we got here on November 12, 2010. We're spending Thanksgiving in LA with my family and will be back and staying in San Jose for a couple weeks after that. I want to see some friends, but I haven't had energy or time. The MIL has been keeping me busy since I got here.

Jason is in Fort Campbell, KY for the next three weeks. I miss him. Luci misses him. We'll be okay. Luci is going to change so much while he's gone. I can't imagine what my friend's are going through with their husbands deployed from KY where we left earlier this year.

Please keep all the Soldiers in your hearts, we've already lost several of the guys from Jason's former Unit. It almost feels like every week or two, we hear about another one lost in the war.

Call me if you are in Northern California. I would love to see you. Maybe you can come see us....

luciela thank you

2010-11-19T00:08:00.001-08:00

Cherry Branches Thank You 5x7 folded card

Unique party invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Nursing and Moods

2010-11-09T22:15:00.001-08:00

Nursing
I'm still nursing and I'm still not making enough milk for Luci, but I'm not quitting anytime soon. I get sore some days, and then I use the cream, but most of the time I don't use it because it's too greasy and gets on Luci's face.

She usually starts taking a bottle after her 3rd feeding in the day and then most feedings after that she take 2 ounces, sometimes she won't take any though. Other times she will start fussing when she finishes the 2 ounces and want more, so we give her more. I guess some days I have more milk than others. It's so strange, my body and it's milk production.

I'm not frustrated about it anymore though. Sometimes I get tired of making bottles and washing them all the time, but it's really okay as long as Luci is getting enough to eat and happy.

Did I mention she weighed 11 pounds and has grown to 23 inches at her two month well baby check up? Actually, I think I did mention that. Oh well.

Moods
I am feeling so much better ever since I started the anti-depressants. I still have a down day or night once in a while, but I'm not grumpy ALL the time anymore. I get tired and cranky, but I think I am doing much better. I guess Jason would be the one to really tell if I'm doing better. I don't think I've been too cranky or depressed.

I get cranky when I am tired or not feeling well though. I might be getting sick again. I haven't been feeling my top the last couple days and even took a long nap with Luci today. She LET me lay down with her on the couch and sleep. We didn't wake up till Jason got home!

DTR's
Jason and I are trying this new thing I learned from a friend of mine called DTR's (Daily Temperature Reading). It's only been a week, but I really like them and Jason seems to like it too. He likes that it makes me smile. The best part about it is that it makes us think about the day and even if we said thank you previously, you point out again what you really appreciate about your partner.

You can read about it here:
http://fatherhoodchannel.com/2009/12/19/daily-temperature-reading/

I better get to bed soon. I'm sure Luci will wake up early tomorrow since I got her asleep at 9:30 pm tonight. Jason was asleep by then too. Heh.

Reading books

2010-11-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

We love reading books to Luci, she is very wide eyed and looks at the pictures and colors of the pages. It's so fun reading to her. Sometimes she talks to the book, but mostly she will listen and look at the pictures. I want to buy more books for her because she seems to really enjoy them. It doesn't even matter what reading level they are right now, but we read most of the shorter less writing books because she won't last more than one long story. I also need to find some ABC and 123 books for her. Anyone have any recommendations?

Getting to bed earlier

2010-11-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

Daylight savings time ending has worked in our favor. I was already starting to try and put Luci to bed earlier than her usual 10:30 - 11:30 pm, plus she started naturally getting tired around 8 or 9 pm instead of 10 or 11 pm. So now I try to start her bedtime feeding around 8:30 pm, unless she really isn't tired. Sometimes a little earlier if she is ready. The last several nights I've gotten her to sleep by 9:30, 10:20, 10:00, and 9:45 pm. Still a big range, but much better than 11:30 or later after midnight. I would rather her wake up earlier, but she tends to sleep in a lot. Sometimes she wakes up at 6:30 or 7:00 am, but more often I think she wakes up around 8:00 am. Jason or I will go and wake her up by 8:00 am if she doesn't wake up first.

I know we are very lucky to have a baby who sleeps through the night or even 4+ hours since she was close to three weeks old. I do feel bad for my friends who hardly get any sleep at all during the night or day waking up every few hours. I know all babies are different though. We have our days too though. I am usually worn out from the daytime because Luci wants attention all the time and if she is tired, she wants to be rocked to nap. She makes up for it at night though. She is such a GOOD BABY!

Maybe it was all the Sushi I ate while I was pregnant...

Spelling of Luciela's nickname

2010-11-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

Jason and I couldn't agree on the spelling of Luciela's nickname. We call her "Yuki", but for her American name we call her "Lucy". I decided that I would just spell it "Lucy" and Jason could spell it "Luci". I liked it with a 'y' because the letter is prettier when written in type and handwriting. Jason liked it with an 'i' because it's more original and different. Now that it's been a while, I have decided the spelling with an 'i' is cuter and I like it better now. So I'm going with Jason and will spell her nickname "Luci" from now on.

Just had to get that out and explain why I spell her first nickname different all the time. I think we call her "Luci" more at home and family and friends calls her "Yuki" or "Yukimi". We want her to know both names so we like it that way.

Awake therefore I must write

2010-11-03T03:20:00.000-07:00

There is no point in laying in bed wide awake trying to sleep or playing on my cell phone or iPhone [it's not connected to any cell phone service, I use it as an iPod Touch with WIFI - got it USED from my Brother-In-Law Danny].

Anyway, I can't sleep. I've been in bed since midnight and finally got up and am having a snack and blogging. I should have started this at 12:30 AM instead, but I tried to sleep first.

Lots of things came up in the last two weeks.

Three weeks
Jason has to go to Fort Campbell, Kentucky for THREE weeks. He's doing a training thing. They put this on him last minute and he didn't have a choice. It's called WLC [Warrior Leadership Course - I think]. The good thing is he is already very familiar with the post since we lived there together for a year. The bad thing is he is going to miss Lucy's first Thanksgiving. I'm sure a few of you will be happy to find out that Lucy and I will be staying in the Bay Area for over a month. Please get in touch with me and come to visit. I miss you all so much. I miss having friends to hang out with and talk to in person. We'll be staying in either Vallejo or San Jose from November 15th. We're going to my Aunties house in Beverly Hills for Thanksgiving, but we'll be back again right after that and staying until the day after Christmas. Three weeks is nothing compared to deployment, so I know I will be okay. I am really glad we're in California so I CAN go to our families houses and have help the whole time. I am a little worried I will get sick of being away from home though. I haven't slept in our current home without Jason home yet, I don't want to.

Halloween
We took Lucy to a buffet dinner and pumpkin decorating the night before Trick or Treating night and she was fine. We decorated a cute pumpkin for her. The next day was Trick or Treating on post (we have a special allowed day and time for this here) and we went to our friend Veronica's house and helped her pass out candy. This was fine, Lucy fell asleep on Veronica after a few pictures and candy passing. That night, when it was bedtime, I put her down like normal and she woke up with a really loud scary scream that woke even Jason up and he banged his ankle on some furniture. She did this three times. Fast asleep, then woke up with a scream-like cry. We thought she was having some kind of nightmares from the noise and music of the kids trick or treating. She scared me, it made me cry that she was affected. We didn't know better. I think it was the noise and crowded streets. She isn't used to so much noise when it's darker in the early evening. Darkness means sleep time for her I think. That night (Friday) it took me till 2:00 AM to get her to bed without me holding her. I nursed her several times and tried putting her down, but she would jolt awake and scream-cry. Then I did it again, swaddled her, held her till she was passed out, and put her down on top of my shirt, then tucked my shirt by her chin on both sides so she would smell me as she slept. This worked. Many thanks to my friend Jess for her late night texting advice. She has 6 kids ages 4mos - 15yrs. Saturday and Sunday night I also had to swaddle and rock her to sleep, but she didn't wake up or have any more of those scream-cries. She used to go to sleep on her own, without me rocking her or swaddling her.

Well baby checkup - 2 months
Yukimi weighs 11 pounds exactly as of Monday, November 1, 2010. Plus, she grew an inch, she's almost 23 inches now (53 cm). She got three shots and one mouth syrup. She took the mouth syrup easily, the Nurse was impressed -- even burped later on. The shots were fast, she cried for ten seconds as I held both her hands secure, Jason put his hand on her tummy for comfort, then she quieted down as soon as he picked her up and held her close to his chest and shoulder. She seemed in shock for a while, just quiet with her eyes open, eventually she fell asleep. We got some Infant Tylenol (not brand) and baby vitamins from the Pharmacy. At home, she took a couple naps and wasn't too fussy till the evening, then we could tell she hurt when we rubbed the shot spot (Nurse said to do it so it will spread faster and won't be so sore later on). Gave her some Tylenol and she seemed to feel better after two hours, even smiling and laughing. OH YEAH, SHE LAUGHS OUT LOUD NOW! I put her to bed like normal, but with another dose of Tylenol to help her with the pain in her leg. She didn't need to be rocked OR swaddled this time.

First laugh
Yukimi made her first laugh out loud when Jason was taking her onesie off over her head on October 28th as he was getting her ready for bocha (bath). I heard it from the bathroom as I was getting the tub ready. It was so cute. Since then she has had at least four giggle episodes. I love hearing her laugh, it just makes me so happy.

Storytime
We like to read books to Yukimi. She is really looking at the pictures now. She lasts about 1-2 books. I want to buy more books to read to her. I love watching her look at the pictures and sometimes talk to them. Often times in the evenings, Yuki will tell Jason and I a story. She goes on and on and on and gets really talkative usually right before her last feeding. It's so wonderful.

I think that's most of what's been going on.

I gotta try and sleep now. It's going to be 3:00 AM soon. Yukimi has been sleeping later and later these days, but she still won't go to bed before 11:30 PM. I am trying to get her to bed earlier, but she won't have it. She wakes up around 8:00 AM. Usually Jason or I will go and get her by 8:00 AM because we worry about her being okay. She's either staring up at her mobiles or sucking her right hand with her eyes still closed. I love her so much.

She is the sweetest little baby in my world. I never dreamed of how lovely this feeling would be.

Love,
La

(Happy Ma-Ma)

I feel like a Mommy now...

2010-10-13T00:20:00.001-07:00

This past evening, I changed Lucy's diaper, then picked her up and
took her to Jason. I was putting her on his lap so she was facing me
still and she made eye contact with me. As I let go, she made the
biggest pouty lip, then sad face, then about to cry face all while
still looking at me. It was the cutest sweetest "Mommy, I need you."
face ever. My heart melted right then and there. I will never forget
that face, ever. Of course I picked her right back up and held her
close, then fed her.

I feel like a Mommy now.

Diapering

2010-10-07T11:17:00.001-07:00

We use cloth diapers at home and for bedtime, then disposables when we go out. I don't want to carry a wet bag and then have to sort things out or rinse when I get home, don't think my Husband wants to either, we have enough to do already. The bedtime use is because she sleeps so long that the cloth will leak and keep her too wet through the 6-7 hours, then she will either wake up for a diaper change or we need to change it mid-sleep to prevent leakage.

I notice Lucy needs to be changed pretty quickly after she wets her cloth diapers, she doesn't like having a wet diaper. That's a good thing. We go through 8-12 a day, once in a while even more than that. I don't like waiting till the diaper is full before changing the diaper. Which is why cloth diapering makes a lot more sense to me. Babies pee so often and randomly, using disposable and changing after one little pee, you end up going through 14 a day.

Cloth diaper and cover collection

This is what we use regularly so far:

12 small white and 12 medium unbleached flat Birdseye cloth diapers (with the origami fold)
18 Bummis organic cotton prefolds (with the angel fold or the twist)

I have a bunch of others as well, but they are too big still or too bulky. I might see if I can return the Bambinex to Costco since I haven't used them at all.

6 Bambinex fitted diaper sets

We also have 12 Gerber prefolds which work fine for diapers and are thinner and softer than the bummis, but we use them mostly as burp cloths.

I have several covers of different sizes that include:

Bummis Super Whisper Wrap - a little snug on the large flats and gets pretty tight around the baby's legs. Luckily my baby doesn't have rubber band legs yet, but she is still growing. I do like the quality of this cover because it's thicker and will last longer than the lightweight ones.

Bummis Super Brite - haven't tried this one yet because I got it in a bigger size.

Thirsties Duo Wrap - works best when the cloth diaper is a bit bulky on the baby, so it fits over the cloth.

I really like all of them.

Laundry

We have to wash about every 2-3 days, otherwise the diaper bin starts smelling the room up like urine. We do a quick cold prewash with a little baking soda, then run a hot regular wash with an extra rinse and some free and clear laundry detergent. Then we fold the flats in half and hang it on the rack with both ends even, then it makes it quicker to prefold it into the origami fold before putting it in the clean diaper basket. The prefolds just get hung anyway they fit on the rack and then get folded into three so it's one long skinny diaper, makes it easy to do the fan/angel fold later on. We can dry it easily inside or outside. I turn the ceiling fan on to speed up the drying process sometimes. The day after we hang them, we can fold and put away just in time for the next round. It sounds like a lot of work, but we've gotten used to it. And it's SO MUCH CHEAPER for us than buying disposables all the time.

The first month was the hardest because Jason was doing ALL the laundry and it was a lot of work for him to do everything along with working. After the first month, I got into a groove and now I'm able to help a lot with laundry (both baby and ours).

Disposables

She is two and a half months old and we've probably only gone through one case of disposables, one 36-pack of newborns when we took a trip while she was two weeks old, and just opened a second case of diapers. I like the Huggies brand the best between Costco's Kirkland and Pampers. I think I can buy what I like and prefer since we save a LOT of money using cloth. I also aim for sales and coupons. Our electric and gas bills are doing well too. We just have to do the hot diaper washes after showers or in morning so we don't use all the hot water up before we take showers. I LOVE my HOT showers.

Newborn

When Lucy was born, it made much more sense to use the NB or size 1 diapers on her, especially while she had her umbilical cord attached still. She left the hospital under 7 pounds so she was smaller and the cloths were giant on her. we could make it fit, but the diaper and cover looked bigger than her entire body. So the first couple weeks we used more disposables. I didn't have any of the flats yet. We only had the thick prefolds.

Okay, that's my take on using cloth vs. disposable the last 6 weeks and 5 days.

New pictures & video

2010-10-07T10:17:00.001-07:00

6 weeks bath

wet face - 6 weeks

big smile - 6 weeks

hi moo! 5 weeks

5 weeks tummy time

An awesome video of tummy time...view the actual blog page to watch it if you can't play it on email.

The medication begins

2010-10-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

My OB, Dr. Molina, who delivered our sweet baby, started me on Paxil (SSRI, anti-depressant) because my questionnaire score is really high and it's better to try to catch it now than to wait and have it become worse. She was more persistent and serious about me needing to get on something, unlike the people at Behavioral Health Services. I'm okay with it.

I got the other drug in the mail yesterday, Domperidone, the one that's available in Canada, so I've started that too.

I just ran out of Fenugreek and I'm not going to buy more, unless my supply decreases from here on out. There are just too many pills to take in one day!

I really hope one of these things help me because I know Jason is tired of me trying to pick fights every other night. I love him so much and he is so good to me. He deserves to be treated right by his own Wife.

Wish me luck.

La

Post Partum Depression (PPD)

2010-10-05T00:56:00.003-07:00

I'm stressed out, sad, tired, and frustrated. Mostly because I can't get my milk production to increase, but also because I overwhelm myself just thinking about family coming to visit, getting things done around the house, feeding lucy, being a good mom and a good wife at the same time, getting to appointments on time, being in pain all the time because my back is always hurting from nursing and not having the right back support or pillows (I have so many pillows, yet I can't seem to get in the right position), trying to eat enough to help with milk production, and more. Everything seems to be stressing me out lately and I know stress is bad for my milk production too. The worst part is that I take it all out on Jason, when I don't blame him. I blame myself. I am so frustrated with myself, yet Jason gets all the crap. I don't take it out on Lucy.

I have been having breakdowns every two days more or less. I have some good days, a lot of bad ones. I cry a lot.

I'm trying to get counseling before I ask for anti-depressants, but at this rate, I am almost ready to ask for drugs to help me calm down and not stress so much.

I have a counseling intake appointment tomorrow. Jason might be able to watch the Lucy so I can go without having to worry about nursing her or her being fussy.

I wasn't really nervous or scared about being a mom, but now I think maybe I should have been.

Nannying for 3 years, full time, 50-60+ hours a week is NOTHING compared to being a Mom.

I love my husband, my daughter, and my puppy. I just wish I could be a better wife and mother to them all.

Five weeks old

2010-09-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

One month old - looks like she was about to sneeze.

She grabbed the toy from the tray when
we weren't looking and we found her
like this. She is 5 weeks old here.

Another day she grabbed the toy from the tray.

Yukimi likes the swing now, so I can put her in there and eat breakfast or vacuum, get a couple things done. She looks around for a while at the mobile on the top of the swing, she also can grab the toy I put on the little dish in front of her, after a while she falls asleep. If I turn the swinging motion off, she will wake up and cry.

The toy in the picture was on the little white tray in front of her on the swing. She grabbed it by herself and fell asleep with it. It was so cute.

Our family - 5 weeks old.

1 month 1 week old

Happy Girl.

More 5 week pictures

Smiles. She loves this toy Daddy picked out for her.

It took too long to put the captions on the pictures here, so I don't have time to write anymore. Everything is going well. I'm tired, Jason is tired, but we're doing okay. Got through the first month. The days fly by, before I know it, it's 4:00 PM. I love my baby girl, Luciela. I love my Husband. I love Moo too.

Breastfeeding is the same, except I have even less milk than I had before. I am still using the tube, but I use bottles too.

Got to go now.

Nothing New

2010-09-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

My thyroid went back to normal sometime after the baby was born. I was actually hoping it wasn't in the normal range still so I could have a reason for not being able to produce enough milk for Lucy. Oh well. I really don't know what else to do. I really wanted to be able to breast feed full time and have enough supply. I'm so disappointed. I know it's not my fault and I've done everything I can do fix it, it's just not happening.

I started topping Lucy off with a bottle at the end of the breast feeding, instead of using the supplementing tube because the tube irritates my nipples and makes them hurt worse.

My back is killing me. I got the one big knot in the muscle next to my left shoulder blade that I used to get quite often in the past. I had Jason elbow it this morning and that relieved it enough for me to fall asleep for a little while. I've also been doing hot and cold packs. I need to get it massaged out.

Bye.

Bottle feeding & Sleeping

2010-09-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

The Lactation Consultant said it's okay for us to start giving Lucy a bottle every once in a while, but to try not to give it to her twice in a row so she doesn't realize the bottle is easier. Jason tried it yesterday and she took it pretty well. She was done in no time, but the look on her face wasn't the same after she's been on my boob with formula supplement. She still gets hungry anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours later. Unless Jason is holding her and she is napping, then she might go for a while.

She doesn't normally sleep so much in the daytime, maybe about once a week. That makes sense because I would do that myself. Have a day of sleep on the weekends to catch up from the lack of sleep on the weekdays back when I was working all the time, plus yoga, plus hanging out with friends.

It's pretty amazing how in the last 4 weeks, she will go to bed around 11 PM - midnight and will sleep till 4-6 AM, except for maybe 2-3 nights where she stayed up till 3-4 AM (due to gas or fussiness). I'm still waiting every night for that to be the night when she stops sleeping at night.

Lucy slept with me most of the morning yesterday, then I got up and got us ready for the 2 PM appointment in Barstow. She was a very sleepy baby yesterday. Slept the whole way there, the whole way back and only woke up to eat, but she didn't want to wake up very much so she had several half feedings. I was still able to give her a full feeding of breast and supplement at 11 PM and put her down around 11:30 PM. She slept till 4 AM. I fed her breast only and she went back to sleep until about 8 AM. Then fed her breast and supplement, she went back to sleep. I slept till 8 AM. Had oatmeal while nursing her, then I got some laundry started, put away laundry, changed the sheets on the bed, and am about to flat iron my hair. The hair thing might be a waste of time, but I don't ALWAYS have to look like a slob, right? I will rest after that again, even though Lucy will probably wake up by then.

When I nurse her in the daytime/afternoon, we sit on the sofa downstairs and I get to watch whatever I feel like on Netflix instant. We still haven't hooked up any kind of cable. It really does save a lot of money, even though I miss having actual shows I like to watch on DVR.

I'm getting my Thyroid checked again because this could be the MAIN cause of having a low breast milk supply. None of the doctors mentioned it the whole time I was being watched throughout the pregnancy. Then Cathy, the Lactation Consultant, didn't hear me or Jason mention it twice throughout the last 3 weeks we've been seeing her. Yesterday, she started saying Hypothyroidism can cause low milk supply and I told her, I had hypothyroid the whole pregnancy, but not enough to take medication, just enough to be on alert on watch. She said that might be the whole reason for this problem because I have been doing everything possible to raise my production and nothing seems to be working.

The first morning feeding is the only feeding I have enough milk to satisfy my baby girl.

Gotta go.

Dear Luciela,

2010-09-14T22:31:00.000-07:00

Mommy loves you so much and I am hurting inside and out because after 3.5 weeks, I am still not making enough milk for you. It makes me so sad. I am so sorry I can't produce enough for you. I don't know what else to do. I want to be able to feed you and provide for you. I want to be a good Mother to you.

I love you. You are my baby girl and I am your Mommy. No one else can ever take my place or be that for you. I will do everything I can to love and provide for you always, no matter what it takes.

Love,
Mommy

My beautiful baby girl

2010-09-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

This is her bedroom.

Looks like I'm not sleeping tonight...

2010-09-13T01:41:00.001-07:00

Yukimi and Daddy

Yukimi and Mommy

Moo Swimming

One more of me and my sweet baby girl...

Good night.

Well, actually, probably won't be sleeping tonight. I've been trying to put her down since 11:30 PM and it's past 1:30 AM. I think Jason messed with our schedule getting her to sleep so much more in the daytime than she did during the week. I've been feeding her non-stop, but she keeps waking up or not sleeping, and then she's hungry.

Gotta go, she's calling for me again.

No time, not much energy, need to sleep.

2010-09-11T00:58:00.000-07:00

The title sums it up. No wonder new Mom's look so exhausted. Breast feeding takes all my time and energy, almost every waking hour. I don't even have time to write about it because I have to get some sleep in case Yukimi wakes up hungry again. She has been sleeping 5-6 hours every night, except for one so far. She eats so much and so often in the daytime, it's okay to let her sleep at night. I usually wake her up after 5-6 if she doesn't wake me up first.

Her last weight on Tuesday, September 9, was 6lbs 15.5oz. She was supposed to be back to her birthweight by two weeks old and by then it had passed. The doctor let me go another three days of breast feeding only to see if we could get her weight up. She has only gained a few ounces in the last couple weeks, which is not enough for a newborn.

We've been working with the Lactation Consultant (LC) in Barstow, almost weekly in-person, plus phone calls in between.

This past Wednesday, we started supplementing with formula. I'm using this thing called "S&S" to avoid bottle feeding. It's a tiny tube attached to a bottle that I put next to my nipple and she gets both breast milk and formula from it. The LC gave it to us and helped me learn how to use it. It's only temporary until I can increase my breast milk supply. LC thinks about 5 days or so. I'm thinking it will take the "or so".

I am taking Fenugreek Seed herb, trying to eat oatmeal daily, drinking water, and eating as well. All these things should help my supply. The herb makes me smell like Maple Syrup, it really does. It should kick in after 2-3 days of taking it in large amounts according to studies (3 capsules, 3 times a day). I know a few women who use it for the same reason.

I also have to pump after EVERY feeding, so feeding, burping, pumping, and clean up takes a long time. By the time I am done with everything, she wants to feed AGAIN. I'm going a little bit crazy, but I have not given up breast feeding. We even went and bought an expensive ($300) pump off the shelf the day we decided to start the formula supplement. I wish we had a coupon, but I couldn't wait because we needed to start using it ASAP. I also chose not to rent, since we want to have a good pump for the entire breast feeding period. Renting adds up to over $700 for about 11 months.

I had to write a little tonight. I have no outlets anymore, no vices, nothing. The only thing that is keeping me sane right now is my stupid little non-smart phone. I MISS MY BLACKBERRY. It died and I decided not to buy a new one. So my phone is only good for texting. I kept a $10/month internet plan and I use it all day, everyday to keep up with my friends. Maybe when Jason is up for an upgrade, he will let me get a BB again and he will take my phone? Ha. The reason I gave up the smartphone is because we are now saving $260 a year on the cell phone bill. It was my choice. Jason warned me and told me to keep the BB, don't give it up. I didn't listen and now I have to deal with that.

My current phone is so annoying to write emails because it's hard to edit what I write. WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO MY HUSBAND!?

Anyway, I have no vices or outlets. Blogging in bed used to be one of my outlets. Smoking used to be an outlet (but I quit before I stopped the birth control). Yoga was an awesome outlet, but I don't have time yet, and I'm not sure if I'm healed enough from the labor to do it. Coffee was a nice relaxation thing too, but I don't have time to drink coffee, plus it decreases milk supply. I wonder if it's all coffee or just the caffeinated kind. I have a bunch of decaf still. I think caffeine makes Yukimi fussy, I tried two days of coffee while in LA last weekend. So yep, no more full caffeinated coffee for me. My friend drinks decaf, so maybe that will be okay. We'll see. I don't even have time to make coffee at this point.

On another note, after the birth of Yukimi, I weighed ONLY 2 pounds less. About 5 days later, I weighed 10 pounds less, then now I lost another 1 pound. So I still am 9 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, but I doubt that is going anywhere soon. I still feel like my stomach is a deflated balloon. No new stretch marks though. I already have all the growing stretch marks from when I was a kid on my butt, upper thighs, and rear waist area.

I've got to go to bed. I just came downstairs to have a quick snack with my Fenugreek.

Before the baby was born, Jason said: Being a Daddy is easier than being a Husband.
I say: Being a Mommy is harder than being a Wife.

What do you say?

:)

Jason is being awesome. He is exhausted from taking care of me, the baby, and the house. He's really doing too much, but I don't know how to stop him because I can't do everything myself either. I can barely get downstairs to eat lunch. He tries to make sandwiches for us for lunch, during his breakfast and shower break. And dinner when he gets home. We take turns giving the baby a bath. He's really good at that. She doesn't even cry anymore when he bathes her. He can't feed the baby, he wishes he could. I want to give her a bottle after a month or so. Just depends on how my supply becomes I think. We can't give her a bottle too early since she might prefer the bottle to the breast. So many little things that coincide with breast feeding. Why can't it be simple?

She wants to eat every other hour sometimes during the day. Once in a while I can get her down for a nap that last longer than 15 minutes. All I can say is, at least she sleeps at night.

MUST. GO. TO. SLEEP.

Good night.

Luciela Yukimi No

2010-09-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

Luciela Yukimi No

Saturday, August 21, 2010 at 2:39 PM

7lbs 6oz

22 inches long

Our baby girl came right on time. I hope to find time to write about the labor and some of the details soon. Either I don't sleep part of the night so I can blog, or I don't blog and I get some rest at night. The daytime is pretty hard to get anything done besides eating. Yukimi has been a great night sleeper (she will sleep 4 hours straight, and more if I let her, but I was advised by nurses and doctors not to let her sleep longer than 4 hours without eating). In the daytime she doesn't nap much because she is hungry every 30-25-60-90 minutes. She is extremely alert for hours during the day. I'm amazed. She is so beautiful. We have truly been blessed.

Moo is being an awesome dog. She is really great.

Breast feeding is no joke. It's tough, exhausting, tormenting, painful, a little depressing, but humbling. Still working on it. If you're planning to breast feed, take multiple classes before and go to support groups after. Make sure to see a Lactation Consultant. The kind that works through hospitals and are funded, not the kind that charge you a fee personally. Call local hospitals and ask for their contacts.

My Mom has been here since the day before she was born. We're planning to go to LA for a quick visit with some Aunties and Cousins. We can still cancel though.

I'll write again soon, hopefully.

Estimated Due Date is in two days (EDD)

2010-08-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

Is it EVER going to happen? I really want it to happen naturally and not have to be induced or end up with a c-section. I had an appointment yesterday and the doc checked me again. I'm still at the same dilation, effacement, and baby's head is still high up there. The doctor said, they might induce after 41 weeks, and definitely won't let me go past 42 weeks.

My next appointment is scheduled for Friday, August 27. Which is a week overdue. I didn't want an appointment on my birthday (25th). I am hoping for my baby's sake, we don't have to share the same birthday, but either way it'll be okay whatever day she decides to come out or we force her to.

Went swimming after I dropped Jason off to work today. I only lasted 8 laps (one way). I wanted to do more, but my belly just wasn't feel it. All the weird pressure and tiny pains make me uncomfortable. I think if Jason was with me at the pool, I would have gone longer and did more laps. Rather not push myself when I'm due in two days and my hubby isn't right by me.

My parents are supposed to be driving out here today, from Los Angeles area. We might meet them in Victorville for dinner and then Costco afterwards. Jason and I need to buy some bulk meat so we can make some food and possibly freeze it.

I think the baby is pretty comfy in my belly so I am not really expecting her to show up in the next two days. We'll get some kind of warning when the contractions start though.....right? My cousin didn't have any contractions that she could feel and she was overdue, so she went in for a check up and the doc said she was contracting regularly and the baby's heartbeat was up, so they took her in and did a c-section that day.

I had a bad itch attack yesterday. I had it all day, but it got extremely worse towards the evening. It was so bad, Jason had to scrub and lotion me and help me calm down. I think I actually fell asleep somewhat early yesterday, like before midnight. And I slept in late, too.

Anyway, I'm going to shower and try to rest a bit before Jason gets out of work and we have to drive out to Victorville.

Dear Belly...

2010-08-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

[39 weeks, 2 days]

Hi Baby Girl,

I'm okay if you want to come out now. There are a lot of people who would like to meet you while they are not too far from where we live. I think I will be okay with having visitors as long as they don't all show up within the couple hours after you arrive.

I went to yoga today and I think you enjoyed it. You moved around a little during different poses. I felt energized afterwards and good. I can't believe I'm already due on Saturday. I have to be honest it has been a LONG nine months of carrying you around. I wish it was more fun and enjoyable, but it was kind of hard on my body. I can't wait to meet you and tell you your name.

I'm trying to put together a CD to play while I'm in labor at the hospital. It's all my soothing, mellow, relaxing songs that I listen to in the car when I'm driving and sleepy or just need to feel better. Sometimes I call it "cheesy music". Daddy doesn't mind. He knows it makes me feel better.

You're going to be beautiful. I tear up at the thought of meeting you. Daddy can't wait either. You have such a wonderful Daddy. You're very lucky, both of us are.

Love,
Momma

By the way, your nickname is Yuki. It might be short for something for your middle name, but we have two possible nicknames (first and middle) and it mostly depends on what you look like when you pop out.

Baby belly drop progress...

2010-08-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

Saw my Doctor today and asked her to check for progression on the baby dropping. I wanted to know more out of curiosity than anything else. I am well aware that many people and doctors say that it doesn't really matter or tell you when you're going to begin laboring. It's just interesting to know.

38 weeks and 5 days: 3cm dilated, 70% effaced, and baby's head is at a -2.

My sister was 2cm 70% -1 when she went into labor. I guess that should make me nervous, but it really doesn't. I'm really not having any contractions, maybe a couple braxton hicks a day, and I don't feel nauseous or weird.

Anyway, I did mention going to LA this weekend for my Grandmother's funeral and she said we would be okay, unless my water breaks or I'm having too many contractions to be comfortable in the car. Also, she recommended to map out and mark all the hospitals along the route -- just in case I do go into labor while on the road or in the LA area.

I am so glad Jason's bosses are letting him take a couple days leave to take me to the funeral. I don't want to be too far away from him this weekend. I need my husband.

Anyway, back to folding laundry before the next load is done.

My belly button is flat.

2010-08-10T01:03:00.006-07:00

It feels so weird having a flat belly button with almost no hole. Well, sometimes there is a hole when the baby is stretching and my belly is lop sided. I wonder if it is going to pop outward before the baby pops.

Late Sunday afternoon, I ended up driving out to LA to spend two nights and a day with my Mom to help her with some memorial preparations. It took me about 3.5 hours to get to my Aunt's house in Beverly Hills. I took three breaks. I talked Jason into letting me go on my own since my Mom will drive us back on Tuesday afternoon. If I let him take me and drop me off, he would have, but that's a 6 hour trip for him and he had to work at 5am, so I wouldn't allow it. I'm only out here to help and support my Mom as she just lost hers. I wouldn't have come if it were just to visit and go shopping.

I have to be back to Fort Irwin in time for three scheduled class/appointments on Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, and Thursday morning. Then Jason, Mom, and I will go back to the LA area on Thursday night or maybe Friday morning and stay till Sunday morning.

We are putting Moo in a kennel because this isn't really a gathering we want to have to tend to our puppy or drag her to LA only to lock her in her house/crate for hours the whole day. She will be okay. I am still having bad itch attacks at night. My mom woke up because I was wiggling and itching so much in the middle of the night. I was half asleep and didn't realize what I was doing till she said something.

When my feet get swollen, icing them helps me calm down at night and feel better so every night Jason brings me ice packs in bed for my feet. When it's really bad he will literally sit there and cool my feet with ice till I fall asleep or get sleepy.

My hands and feet still swell a lot which makes them very achy and stiff. It's not abnormal swelling though.

I miss my husband. I told him I wasn't going anywhere again and I ended up leaving. My Mom needed my company and this way she doesn't have to find a bus or rental to come out to our house for a few days.

She did not ask me to come, although I'm sure she is happy I am here. Still, I can't wait to get home to my Hubba and MooMoo. This week is gonna be a long and tiring one. Not sure when baby is gonna show up, but a lot of people are going to be around if she comes this week or next. I hope it isn't too overwhelming for me.

Gonna have a snack, take medicine, and try to sleep now.

La

--
Sent from my mobile device

Dear Belly...

2010-08-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

You're due to arrive in TWO weeks. I don't know how you feel about coming out anytime soon, but I really want to go to your Great Grandmother's funeral gathering on Saturday. I know I said I wouldn't go anywhere outside of our normal radius, but things come up. Daddy even got permission to take me, normally the Army would not let him take "leave" for reason like this. So he'll be with us too. If you want to come out now, you can go with us together in person. It's going to be a tiring trip with a newborn and in recovery, but I know we can do it. Unless of course the doctor says "no". Otherwise, can you just wait till Sunday or later? My Sister had her first baby two weeks early. People say first babies are late, but from what I've gathered, it really isn't true. You babies come out when you want to and not when you're told. So yeah, just thought I would ask you.

Love,
Mommy

P.S. Daddy and I finally settled on a name for you. NO ONE except the two of us knows about your first name and it's going to stay that way till you're born. I hope you like it. We have a couple nicknames that we will call you, but we're going to wait till you're born to pick which one fits the best. We're so excited to meet you Baby No.

With Love...

2010-08-07T13:48:00.002-07:00

As soon as Jason and I got to my Grandma's house on July 24th, we sat down at the table with her and my Mom to join in on their last scrabble game together that day. Her 97th birthday celebration was the next day and her real birthday was the following day on July 26th.

She got lots of presents at her birthday party. I think she had a good time opening them. Well, I opened half of them for her and handed the gift to her since it was very hard for her to do things, as everything takes a lot of energy at that age. My Auntie opened the rest, as I needed to stand up for a bit. Jason and I gave her a pretty pink blouse with little silver flower designs on the neckline.

My Grandma passed away early yesterday evening. I heard she played three scrabble games in the afternoon, enjoyed ice cream, and ate dinner at her routine time. As she was waiting for her shower time, her body decided she was no longer going to take any more breaths. She lived a very long healthy happy fulfilling life.

My Grandma was a wonderful person. I loved her very much. I lived with my Grandma for about a year when I was 17. I am sure I gave her more white hairs that year (Sorry Grandma).

I will never forget her. I will tell our daughter stories of her Great Grandma that she won’t get to meet. As well as teach her scrabble so she can be as bright and sharp as her Great Grandma.

I've been crying on and off all evening since I got the two calls. One to tell me she stopped breathing and we are waiting for Life Alert to help. The second was to tell us she was gone.

Jason left work even though they hadn't been released yet to be with me as soon as I told him the first news. So he was with me for the final news. Thank goodness for a supportive and caring husband. He was worried I would go into labor from the news. He even told me I’m a strong woman for taking this so well, being pregnant and all. I’m so glad he’s not in the field or deployed. God and His perfect timing have truly blessed our life together.

My Grandma is in a better place, no longer in pain, hugging my Grandpa and Uncle Keibo, reuniting with the rest of the family that she's patiently waited years to see again.

I will miss you, Grandma.

Jason has a great memory of our last scrabble game with you. Your rules and odd words that all check out in the scrabble dictionary.

Moo loved you too because she put her head on your lap and sniffed you several times while you sat in various chairs over the two days we were with you last.

With love from your youngest Granddaughter,
Lorrie

(and my husband Jason, puppy Moo, and baby girl - due in 15 days)

* * *

Frances Tayeko Yoshimoto

July 26, 1913 - August 6, 2010

* * *

Can't sleep.

2010-08-05T01:11:00.001-07:00

I am pretty sure I should be tired. I guess I have too much on my mind
to fall asleep or even relax enough to get sleepy. I am not taking
Zyrtec tonight because the itching might have passed. So far so good.
I shouldn't take benadryl for sleeping, although it is very tempting.
Sigh.

Can't pinpoint what's on my mind. I just get so annoyed with certain
things today.

Jason and Moo snore loudly together sometimes. Jason only snores when
he's really tired. Moo is more of a grunter in her sleep, oh and the
cute "woofings" too. Sometimes she even snorts.

Wish me some sleep soon.

--
Sent from my mobile device

37 weeks - going crazy and can barely lift a finger without needing a nap

2010-08-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

I swear I only took two naps today. One took the entire morning, the other took the entire afternoon. I had to take tylenol for the pelvic pain and I kept asking Jason if he gave me the right pills, because I was a goner the entire day. He wouldn't make a mistake when it comes to medicine, me and the baby.

After waking up at 5:00 PM from my second nap, I folded a little laundry, then went to the garage to get toilet paper and get rid of some boxes we don't need anymore. The baby started kicking and pushing down and hitting all my leg and hip nerves. She's been going for a good 45 minutes now. It's painful and uncomfortable. Standing up I feel like my hip or thigh nerves are being pinched and I want to collapse.

I hate having so many complaints about pregnancy. I really wish I enjoyed it more. Maybe after the baby comes and the first 6 months to year will erase all the aches and pains I went through. I guess all I have to do it go back and read this blog to remind myself.

Sometimes all this makes me not want to birth anymore kids. I guess we'll see how the labor and birth goes.

Jason and I folded all the laundry upstairs, ours and the babies. I sorted the sizes and now we have a ton of 3-6-9 months clothes, and only a few pieces of 0-3 months. I'm not going to buy more right now, if we need to buy some right when the baby comes and wash and dry them in one day, we can. I'm thinking maybe some of the smaller looking 3 months clothes will fit her if she is a tiny baby.

I'm gaining weight pretty quickly. Pretty sure, she'll be a good size. I know there is nothing wrong with gaining less weight than average since I'm not white and a lot of the books base the average weight gains on white women. Even the doctor said it is probably genetic that my weight gain is on the lower side. I have another appointment on Tuesday, so we'll see how much I've gained. I'm thinking a couple more pounds according to my scale, but I base it on the scale at the OB office.

I'm truly amazed and thankful for having such a patient husband. Jason has been so awesome. Getting everything around the house done when I have no energy to do things. Dealing with me and my hormonal moods. I get from tired to cranky to grumpy to happy to cranky. I feel bad, I wish I could control my moods better.

Hopefully I can sleep tonight even though I feel like I slept the entire day with breaks to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Good night.

Slowly progressing

2010-07-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

36 weeks, 5 days.

It's been a really long week including this past weekend. We got to my Grandma's house in Monterey Park in the late afternoon Saturday, then had dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants in Pasadena called Louise's. Jason and I even got to see a movie afterwards, which we haven't done together since we lived in Kentucky. We both love movies. We said "Inception". It was good, confusing, and we want to watch it on blu-ray a couple more times.

Sunday morning I woke up around 5:00 AM with an extremely achy body and limbs, itchy and swollen, everywhere. Called my regular Labor & Delivery Advice Nurse and she said to go to the nearest ER in case I'm having some kind of allergic reaction. We went and stayed from 6:00 AM to 3:00 PM. They did a few blood tests, a stress test on the baby (where they monitor for heart rate and contractions until the doctor clears me), and a diagnostic ultrasound. Yeah, we got an extra ultrasound from this ER visit. They shot me up with Benadryl and we went home with no answers, just sleepy and STARVING. We went back to my Grandma's packed up our stuff, got Moo, and headed over to the birthday party only 4 hours late. We had fun even though our original plan was to get to the party at noon, and leave by 4:00 PM to do the 3-hour drive home. We stayed at the party till 7:30 PM. I was exhausted. I felt bad Jason had to do all the driving because I was drugged out on benadryl and that stuff knocks me out now that I'm pregnant, before I was pregnant it wouldn't cause a blink.

Moo was awesome at the party, she didn't bother anyone or any of the little dogs. I wish the other dogs were more social, but they all seemed pretty spoiled and wanted nothing to do with Moo or any person other than their owners. I think they were all older dogs though. Moo was a sweetheart and didn't bark once the entire time, she also was really sweet with my cousins 7th month old baby. She still hesitates with men, but as long as they just chill out and let her come to them after a while, she is okay with them. She warmed up to my Uncle once he sat down and let her sniff around him. I love my dog. I'm not getting another dog anymore and I no longer want a playmate for Moo. Not unless we get out of the Army and we buy a house with a big backyard and we're doing really well financially, THEN, we'll consider another dog.

I was still swollen and itchy Sunday after the hospital and all night, so Monday after feeding myself a good hearty fresh cooked steel cut oatmeal, fruit and almonds breakfast, I went back to my regular hospital and did the whole thing over again. This time it took 3 hours. They gave me Zyrtec, since the benadryl stopped working after the hospital in LA gave me a shot of it. I think Zyrtec might be helping a little still. I take it mostly at night since I'm somewhat able to keep myself distracted from itching. I'm still a little swollen, but not so bad that it hurts to stand on my feet.

Another unexpected pain came up in the last couple days too. It feels like my lower pelvic bones are seriously bruised and sore. Did I ride a really bumpy roller coaster with hard plastic seats in my sleep? Apparently, this is normal, the baby is moving lower and my pelvic bones are relaxing, widening. I googled the pain and seems that sometimes (if you're lucky) the pain will last about a week or two and then subside. I hope I get lucky. I can barely walk or adjust myself in bed. It's pretty painful. More so after I've been resting for a while. I wonder if women with wider hips have the same problem. If they don't, then you're lucky if you've got a good set of hips on you. Seriously.

Jason has the next 4 days off. It's supposed to make up for the two weekends in a row that he works, but it doesn't really since he only gets two extra days off (not including a regular 2-day weekend).

We're supposed to be housecleaning and shopping. We got most of the shopping done yesterday in Victorville. Then he woke up and went running with Moo at 6:00 AM this morning, relaxed watching Netflix instant, and made us a wonderful breakfast (dutch baby and sausage). So now he's exhausted and taking a much needed nap. I didn't get out of bed till 10:30 AM. I sleep in when I can because I have trouble sleeping at night sometimes, and once the baby is here, sleep is going to be rare for a good while. Well, with the Zyrtec to help my itching, it also helps me fall asleep faster the last couple nights. It just sucks when I wake up itching a couple hours after falling asleep and have to shower and put more lotion on.

Oh and I thought I was ready for the baby to come, but turns out she is still considered LATE PRE-TERM LABOR if I have her now, so it's definitely not time for her to come out yet. I think I am emotionally and mentally ready, but house-wise, I'm not ready anymore. I've got like three loads of baby clothes thrown into the crib waiting to be folded and sorted by size. I rewashed a bunch of stuff because the detergent I was using gave me a skin reaction last month, so I figured it might give the baby one too. I thought it was a Free & Clear type, but it was just a natural brand, so we exchanged it for Free & Clear. I read about the detergents and it's safe to use free & clear as opposed to Dreft (which is seriously overpriced and expensive). If for some reason the baby's skin needs something else, then we'll switch.

Now that my Mom isn't coming till later on after August 9th or so, I can't wait for her to come and help me with all these clothes and things everywhere. It's okay. If the baby wants to appear early, then we'll just have to throw all the baby clothes in a basket or bag and take care of it later. No biggie.

I guess it's time to wake the hubba up and start on the house now.

So much to do, not enough energy...

2010-07-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

We need to pack for an overnight trip to LA. We're bringing Moo and her stuff, plus the car seat and an emergency hospital bag. All of our laundry is piled up on our bed, I just haven't gotten to it yet. Not to mention I have another two loads of baby laundry to sort and fold by sizes sitting in her room.

Jason has been working late the last few days and he's still at work now. I hope they let them go soon. Lockdown sucks.

I went to yoga today, even though I don't like this instructor. I wonder if it's even legal in California to "teach" a yoga class when she doesn't even have ANY type of yoga certification. I do about half the stuff she does, then the other half I do whatever I want since she does a lot of stuff I can't do while I'm pregnant. I wish the other instructor had more classes spread out during the week. I only have to pay $3 for a class here. If I wanted to take unlimited classes, I could pay $30 flat rate, but I don't think I'll be going to yoga immediately after the baby arrives. I wonder how long it will take to recover from the labor or if there are rules on exercises I should be doing afterwards. Guess I should start googling and reading about that.

Yoga helped me feel good, although my right arm is weird since the beginning of class, almost like it's aching in the inner elbow muscles. Not sure what's up with that, but I don't remember doing anything that would have made it hurt like this. Hopefully it goes away after sleeping tonight.

Sleeping has been hard lately. I have all these small aches and pains in my belly when I lay down, move around, get up to go bathroom, turn over, or sit up. It's so annoying. I think I'm ready for the baby to be born after Sunday. Although, a couple more weeks of yoga wouldn't be so bad either. Heh heh.

I hope I can find time and energy to blog after the baby is born. I'm due in 4 weeks 2 days now. I wonder after the birth of this baby, if I'm going to want to be pregnant ever again. I wish I enjoyed it like some of my friends. I hope you get to enjoy your pregnancy if you ever become pregnant.

I think I will have some water and go upstairs to start folding laundry. As soon as Jason gets home, he's going to help me with packing and getting stuff ready to go. Then we'll eat dinner, probably from the freezer tonight. I don't want to cook anything because we'll end up with leftovers and we're leaving sometime tomorrow morning.

35 weeks, 5 days

2010-07-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

I spent a week in the Bay Area, but it wasn't a vacation. It was tiring. I don't want to leave home again, not without Jason. I think I'm finally recovered today. I was physically beat the last three days. Got back home on Monday. I got A LOT of the things I wanted to get done out there and am happy with everything we have at this point. I drove a little over 3 hours to Bakersfield and Jason's Mom met me there by train and drove the rest of the way, she did the same thing on the way back home. We are really lucky to have such giving and helpful parents. I wouldn't have gone unless I had someone to drive with, so luckily she made time for me.

Today, I saw my Doctor and from now on will be seen every week until Baby No shows herself. I gained two pounds since my last appointment about 2 weeks ago. It could be from eating out so many times while I was visiting up North though. Home cooking is so much better. I'm happy about gaining a little weight though. Now I've gained a total of 19 pounds. I won't be surprised if I put on ten more in the next couple weeks, like I did around 20 weeks.

This weekend is my Grandma's 97th Birthday party in Beverly Hills. Jason and I are planning to go. I won't go if he can't go though. I'm not up for the 3 hour drive, even though I did it last week and the week before. It took me too long to recover and I don't sleep well or get good naps when I'm not at home.

I kept this quiet for the last month, but we finally got a four door car on July 1st. We traded in the 2-door sporty Scion TC (manual transmission). Our new car is used and higher mileage, but we absolutely LOVE it. We got a 2005 Nissan Altima 2.5 S. It's nice and smooth and quiet. My back lasts about 6 hours before it starts getting sore. The Scion killed my back after 30 minutes. We got a good deal and luckily had enough money with the trade in and some cash to avoid financing.

We're losing our renter for the condo in Lisle, IL, which means we have mortgage payments to cover so money is going to be pretty tight for a while. Another reason why no car payments is awesome.

I'm almost ready for this baby to be born. Actually in 3 days, I'll be "TERM" which means the baby won't be considered premature. If she is born before 36 weeks, then she has to be sent to another hospital that has a NICU. I think we are in pretty good hands.

Time to get some rice cooking. Jason is working late today, but he still gets to come home and hug me every night.

About 6 more weeks!

2010-07-13T23:59:00.001-07:00

34 weeks 3 days

Less than 6 weeks to go till we are full term in this pregnancy. The last couple weeks I have been feeling the best of the entire pregnancy, I think the yoga and swimming are helping a lot. The only downside is I'm extra irritable and Jason gets ALL of it, sometimes Moo too. Walking doesn't make me feel good, but yoga and swimming both help me feel refreshed, happier, and in a better mood for most of the day.

Today, I drove 3.5 hours with 3-4 breaks to Bakersfield where my Mother-In-Law met me by train, then she drove the rest of the way to Vallejo. I have four local appointments and a bunch of errands I'm trying to get done in the next 5 days. Not much time and I can't over do it either so unfortunately I won't really have time to visit friends this trip. I'm mainly out here to do last minute errands, household and baby shopping, and pampering (haircut), before we have the baby and have no time for anything anymore. Plus, there is a lot more access to everything out here than in our area near Fort Irwin.

My only medical complaint today was heartburn that started with 3 hours left to drive. It finally feels better after a glass of whole milk. I've been taking Zantac 150, but the nurse said according to their papers I'm not supposed to take more than one per day. I might try and call the doctor tomorrow to make sure though. Haven't had any contractions today and the baby has been moving regularly, she mostly doing light stretching today, not too much dancing or yoga going on so my comfort level has been pretty good.

Jason changed jobs this past Saturday, so instead of him being gone in the field for two weeks of the month, he gets to work in a training room and office. He's got this job for a year, unless something changes in the future. So now he's home and I left him all alone. I ended up not taking Moo with me up North since he can come home everyday and she can keep him company while I'm gone. He still works weekends during the rotations, but at least I get to see him everyday and he likely won't miss 2 weeks of our baby girl growing up every month. Although that's nothing compared to an 18-month deployment. All his old buddies in Fort Campbell are almost ready to deploy to Afghanistan next month. We miss them a lot and will be praying for them.

So he'll be right down the street everyday and I don't have to worry about calling the emergency number to reach him while he's in the field and I'm in labor.

He's also been bicycling to work everyday about 3-4 times roundtrip per day. He's been riding daily for about 3 weeks now. Its downhill to work and uphill back home. Which means I get to have car access and freedom to go to yoga or anywhere, whenever I want! I love that he's actually enjoying riding even in the 107 degree weather. It saves money on gas, car wear and tear, and a lot of time for traffic and parking. I'm really proud of him.

I'm guessing when the rainy season starts, he'll start driving to work again. Otherwise he has to find coveralls to put over his uniform so he doesn't get drenched. I've heard the flash flood rain is dangerous in the desert so its probably better if he drives.

I gotta find him some bicycle parts like metal pedals, a water bottle holder, tires, etc. The current pedals are broken because they are plastic and the army boots are heavy and big. Its pointless to wear other clothes and change when he gets to work so he has to be in full uniform on bike, whether PTs or ACUs. We got these mountain bikes free while living in Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Our neighbors left them at the trash pick up for a couple days, no one took them so we took them. Didn't use them at all out there, then finally bought a tire pump and Jason has been using it for commute ever since.

He does it also for extra PT (physical training). His legs are like rocks, I mean super heavy with all the extra muscle weight. He already had the toned and shaped tae kwan do legs since I met him 11 years ago, but now he has that plus more. Hee hee.

I think I'm winding down after writing this post on my blackberry. Ready to sleep for the night.

Thanks for reading...

(via.bb)

34 weeks 2 days

2010-07-12T20:48:00.000-07:00

This baby is huge and my belly is feeling it. She likes to stick her toes in my ribs and her fingers in my hips, then her elbows just go out the side of my belly. I'm still not really gaining any more weight, but I had a doctor appointment last week and the doctor is not concerned as long as I eat well, eat enough, and don't do any kind of crash dieting. I eat when I'm hungry which is usually 4+ times a day.

Jason and I were talking about the foods I've been craving the most throughout the entire pregnancy and we decided it's a toss up between any kind of Korean food and Japanese Sushi. It helps to have his Mom close by to cook Korean food whenever we're in town or when she visits us here. I make a few dishes myself though too. I LOVE kim chee fried rice, Jason loves it too. It's like the pan isn't big enough no matter how much I try to make.

I'm so lucky to have a husband who is extremely easy to please when it comes to food, loves meat, and appreciates the simple cooking as much as the wanna-be gourmet cooking. He also cooks for me when I am not feeling it or feeling good.

I love my husband.

151

33 weeks 3 days

2010-07-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

Are we ready? Kind of.

So if I were to go into labor tomorrow, would I be ready? Sure, why not.

Mentally and emotionally? Pretty much.

Physically? Not quite.

Is the house ready for a baby? Yes and no.

Baby clothes, linens, and cloth diapers are all ready to go. We have a case of wipes and disposable diapers as well for our back up supply. The crib is kind of made, but not completely. The bumper my Mother-in-law made does not have enough ties on it for safety reasons so I have to make and add more ties, I will probably have her or my Mom do it next time they are around. I'm not feeling so crafty lately, more just organizing things and putting away all the little junk that's set on shelves or table space. All the cloth diapers had to be washed and dried three times. Now that is finally done, I just need to fold the last basket and put them in the baby room. I need to organize the drawers and set things out so they are ready to open as soon as the baby is born.

The car seat is in the trunk of the car, we haven't let Moo in the car for a while, wanted to wait till we put the car seat in so she has no choice but to get used to it being there. And she has to learn not to jump over it or be scared of it. We don't have any dolls, but maybe I should get one to put in the car seat so Moo can get used to something being in there.

I am thinking about going back up to the Bay Area for about a week this month since it's my last month to travel and pick up any last minute things for the house and baby. I hadn't planned on going back at all till after the baby was born, but there are several things I would like to get from the Japanese dollar store and other things easily accessible out there without having to drive an hour and half every time I want to go someplace besides the PX or Commissary. I'm not sure if I'm going to go up North for sure though, it really depends on how I'm feeling next week. Jason's Mom offered to fly or train down here and drive with me because I want to take our car so I will have my own transportation around town. We'll see. Jason will be out in the field, so I will be taking Moo with me too and leaving her at the in-laws. They still have one dog for Moo to play with. The older dog passed away due to escaping the backyard and getting hit by a car and left for dead. Stupid people.

I woke up with a horrible leg cramp in my left calf this morning and couldn't even flex my foot, felt like I had a cast on my whole lower leg so I rolled out of bed to the floor and managed to stretch it out.

I'm planning to go to yoga tonight even though its a late class. I think this is the teacher that is certified in yoga and prenatal yoga as well. Last week, I went to a class that had a teacher that was self taught with no certifications at all. She made it really obvious that she was a little nervous when she saw I was pregnant, which in turn made me a little nervous too. I still had a good stretching during that class. Sometimes I get hip cramps though. I hate those cramps because it's hard to stretch those muscles out. I really miss my yoga studio options up North (sigh).

Less than 7 weeks and I'll be full term. The baby moves a lot and she is definitely big because she is always digging into my hips and bones and pelvic area making it quite uncomfortable to sleep. I haven't been able to fall asleep quickly the last two nights, so I've been sleeping in quite a bit. I forced myself out of bed today though to see if it will help me sleep earlier. We went swimming yesterday, but didn't stay very long. I think I was worn out from the weekend because Jason's Mom and Grandma were here since Friday.

We didn't have to cook at all, Jason's Mom did all the cooking, but it was still tiring because she wanted to invite cousins over and I insisted the house be somewhat clean before anyone besides Mom's, Dad's, and Grandma's come over. After a while, my minimum was the floors must be vacuumed, mopped, and all the pictures need to be hung up. Jason got the pictures up and vacuumed. His Mom hand mopped the floor (she refused to use the mop) and then Jason steamed mopped after that. It was so dirty, they had to do both. We haven't mopped the floor since the movers were here so we wear shoes on the laminate, then go barefoot on the carpet. We've had so many maintenance people in and out, we didn't want to super clean till most of it was done. Luckily the floor is clean now and now we can just steam mop once a week and be good. Now we can walk barefoot without our feet turning all gross. I must totally be grossing you out with my floor story.

We got a lot of small newborn to 3 months clothes for the baby. Although many babies grow to the next level pretty quickly, so I'm hoping the small clothes will last a couple months at least before we have to go and buy the next size up. We didn't get a lot of gift receipts for the clothes so I couldn't exchange them for the next size up. It's okay though. I'm just happy we have clothes for the baby when she is born. Unless of course she ends up being a ten pounder or something.

We finished our five week lamaze class a few weeks ago. We learned the different breathing techniques and some other things we didn't know as well. Overall it was an okay class. I am hoping it will help with all the labor pains, although I'm not banking on not getting any non-natural pain relief. We'll just see how it goes.

Moo has been here with us since June 13th. She is doing okay. For the first couple weeks she was scared to go outside, scared of the wind, scared of everything inside and outside the house. We started leaving her outside and making her sleep outside & in the garage for a few days, with house privileges during the day when we were home. She doesn't seem to have any problem going outside anymore. She just prefers to be with us inside and likes to be with us. She isn't allowed upstairs anymore, not sure for how long. She sleeps downstairs in her house at night. In the mornings, Jason will let her outside in the back and leave her free in the garage with backyard access. That way she can go bathroom if she needs to and I don't have to worry about getting up early to let her out. She also stays out there if we're going to be gone for more than an hour or two. She has her big cage kennel in the garage to sleep. Inside we got another kennel (plastic airline approved kind) that is a little smaller so it doesn't take as much space in the house. We have to keep the car windows closed in the garage, otherwise she will jump in the car through the window and sleep there sometimes or just wait there for us. She likes the car and usually gets to go to fun places when she goes in the car.

I better get going. I have laundry to fold and dishes to put away and wash.

Even though I'm closer to family and friends, I still miss having friends. I miss having a good friend down the street.

La

We have a house!

2010-06-11T10:20:00.003-07:00

29 weeks, 4 days pregnant.

It's been several weeks since I've really blogged. I haven't felt much like writing, plus for several weeks I didn't have my own computer with me. I was crashing at my parent’s house for a while, and Jason stayed alone in the barracks at Fort Irwin. That really sucked being apart.

Around 27 weeks, I drove to Fort Irwin from San Jose, by myself, in rental car. It took me 7 hours, with 3 stops. The next three days I spent with Jason, but I was in a lot of pain. The doctor begged me to not do that type of drive by myself again because it stressed my body and caused me to have contractions for three days. Luckily, I recovered with no other problems.

I lost count of how many times I've been back and fourth from the Bay Area to Fort Irwin. We finally got our on post house this past Friday. Our household goods (which is everything we had in our former house) came on Monday, so we've been unpacking and trying to sort out the house. It's a lot of work. Jason is doing the bulk of it. I'm mostly organizing the kitchen, then I will lay on the couch for a while updating addresses online. My heels hurt really bad after an hour of standing on my feet. So I end up having to sit down and be useless quite often. Jason is really good to me. He won't make me do much at all. Although I think he's working himself a little too hard these days so I've been giving him deadlines to stop working by a certain hour. Otherwise he's so worn out the next day, he might be grumpy.

Last night, I was putting a DVD in the PS3 so we could watch a movie to relax the rest of the evening after working on the house all day. Jason was upstairs putting our showerhead on (I've kept my own shower head since I had an apartment in LA because most of the rentals have cheap crappy heads on theirs). I was almost squatting and I lost balance and fell backwards, hitting the lower tailbone/backbone area. Luckily, we have carpet in the new house so that made the fall softer. As I fell, I brought a small heavy box down with me and that fell on my arm. I was okay, but my body was achy and my back hurt so we decided to get checked at the hospital since the doctor at our prenatal check up in March scared us with all these horror stories about falling or slipping even a five inches off the ground and said we must come in a get checked if any type of fall or slip happens. I forgot that it takes a minimum of four hours on the monitors. We got to the hospital at 8:00 PM and left around 12:15 AM. The baby is fine. She was being really squirmy, but she's doing well and has a heartbeat in the high 140's. She kept kicking and tapping the monitor and then after a while she would manage to move away from it and hide. After a couple hours, she moved again and the nurse spent about 10 minutes trying to find her heartbeat again. She goes really deep into my pelvic area and hides from the monitor.

Hopefully I will start having more time to write on here soon.

Pregnancy Hormones

2010-05-28T14:11:00.001-07:00

SUCK!

Just call me crazy woman and I will agree.

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I feel so lost...

2010-05-23T00:00:00.001-07:00

I don't know what to do or how to fix things.
(via.bb)

Living Status & Pregnancy Stuff

2010-05-19T01:53:00.001-07:00

Pregnancy status: 26 weeks 4 days (about five FULL months)

So we're almost into the third trimester of this pregnancy and we still are without a house and household goods.

Jason is living in the singles barracks at Fort Irwin, making his own meals with a microwave or hot plate since the Army wouldn't give him a meal card while he's homeless, wifeless, and dogless.

I'm living in my parents house in San Jose some weeks and the in-laws in Vallejo on other weeks.

I've seen Jason 3.5 days in the last 22 days. This is nothing compared to deployment I know, but no matter what the reason it still sucks to be away from my husband, even more so since he's not deployed.

We chose to be smart with our money and not blow it on hotels costs for a month or two. We spent enough just for two weeks in a hotel already. I'm still glad we are sticking to it, even though I hate being far away, yet so close. [I'm about 8 hours away by car. Planes aren't much of an option since the airport is 2.5 hours away from Fort Irwin].

Have I even mentioned the baby is a GIRL on my blog? We found out April 20th, we're having a girl. Her first name is Japanese. We're working on the rest of it, but we won't really finalize it till the hour after she's born.

I weight 150 now. I hit the 150 mark sometime this last week. So far I've gained 16 pounds since I've been pregnant.

I can tell you, I'm one of those women who aren't so thrilled with carrying around a baby inside. I do want to be pregnant, carry this baby, and birth her and be her Mommy. We planned this pregnancy! It's just in the last month or so I've come to realize BEING PREGNANT isn't as enjoyable as I thought it would be. So far, 1 out of 3 of my friends enjoys/enjoyed being pregnant. I haven't asked very many though. If you're a woman who is or has been pregnant, do or did you enjoy being pregnant?

I wonder if part of my enjoyment level the last month is related to the crappy transition we've been going through since leaving the house in Kentucky. I'm sure it's not helping much.

Well, if everything goes right, we might get the keys of a house on post in Fort Irwin on June 4th. So far that can still change, since the current resident is still there. So yeah, we're waiting for final confirmation. Any day now, please.

That's all for tonight. I've been putting off blogging because I don't have my mac book pro with me out here. I left it with Jason to use for movies and wifi. So a lot of times I don't want to sit at either parents household computers and do my writing. Too many distractions and background noise. Yeah, I miss my desk and office or work area too and Moo sleeping at my feet while I'm on the computer. So this was written on my BlackBerry (aka BB). Gonna have sore BB thumbs tomorrow.

Good night.

(via.bb)

I miss...

2010-05-19T01:09:00.001-07:00

1. My husband.
2. Cooking in my own kitchen with my own gadgets and kitchenware.
3. Lunchtime naps on the sofa with my Husband and puppy.
4. Our amazing heavenly bed.
5. Living in my own home and having the responsibilty of taking care of it.
6. Dinner at the table with no TV on in the background.
7. Cooking or baking whatever I want, whenever I want.
8. Always having space and organization in the fridge.
9. Getting pampered and spoiled and loved by my Husband in person (rather than on the phone).
10. Getting my belly rubbed with lotion by Husband.
11. Reading stories to the baby belly together in person.
12. Huggie time.
13. Dako.
14. Reading weekly pregnancy updates every Sunday night in bed together before we go to sleep.
15. Going to sleep at the same time.
16. Being 200% comfortable where I'm living, eating, and sleeping.
17. Just doing things around the house: cleaning, laundry, sitting, wandering, sleeping, organizing.
18. Going to the bathroom with the door open.
19. Showering with the door open.
20. Taking baths.
21. Waking up to weekend breakfast made by my Husband.
22. Homemade dutch babies.
23. Having a whole house to ourselves. Us and only us (dog and baby included).
24. Waking up and going to sleep to kisses and hugs.
25. Not living out of a suitcase.

(via.bb)

We're having a little baby GIRL!

2010-04-17T16:37:00.001-07:00

ULTRASOUND
On Monday, we got our diagnostic ultrasound and found out our baby no is a baby girl. She looks healthy, without any physical problems showing up on the scan. I put up a picture of her little feet.

To date, I've gained 13 pounds. It's all in the front of my belly. It's hard to find a comfortable position in bed, but my maternity pillow is helping a lot. The painful times is when my tummy lining and skin is stretching from the baby growth, that hurts a LOT.

The ultrasound was great, but afterwards I was in severe pain for three whole days and I still have small pains from it today. It's because I had to drink so much water before the ultrasound (they give us directions to drink 32 ounces, an hour before and hold it throughout). I drank less because I have always been aware of my small bladder. Turns out 22 ounces was still too much for me. I held it from 1:10pm to 2:40pm. I felt no pain at all during the time. After I relieved myself my lower abdominal, bladder area, hurt really bad. The nurses at the OB clinic said it should go away in a couple hours. Five hours later I was still in severe pain, so we drove 45 minutes back to the hospital and checked in to Labor & Delivery for evaluation. No contractions and no bladder infection. I took some tylenol and was told to pick up a special medication in the morning if the pain was still present. Bad pain continued till late Wednesday night. The special bladder spasm medication didn't even help the pain subside. The only thing that gave me any type of relief was Tylenol and sleep. Luckily I didn't have any other errands to run for those few days. I felt better most of Thursday. This morning I had some pain again for a couple hours. For some reason I didn't wake up to go to the bathroom all night last night, I held it till morning, so it hurt again. Enough about the bladder pains. I think we're okay now.

Even though this kind of thing isn't the best blogging topic, I want to blog about it so that if I ever experience things like this in the future or if other people do, we'll know we're not the only ones who went through it.

I'm very happy to be pregnant and to be carrying this bundle of little baby inside of me. It still feels alien-like when she gets really kicky or stretches and causes me weird pains that I can't explain. I can't wait to meet this feisty little girl. I'm pretty sure she is going to look more like her Daddy, than me. Although I like my nose, so I hope she gets mine.

MOO THE DOG
On another note, the last couple days have been rough with Moo. She seems to be afraid of me. I think she is beginning to sense my baby belly and she is scared of it. It's really bothering me and I don't know what to do about it except try and be patient. She will run away from me after I get all ready to take her for a walk, she'll hide in her house. So I have to do something else for a while and wait for her to come out, close her house door, so she can't hide there anymore, then get the leash on her. I don't know what to do about her. I really don't. It kind of hurts my feelings that she's so afraid of me.

HOTEL LIVING SUCKS
Tuesday, Jason's Mom is coming to pick me up and take me back to the Bay Area. I love Jason so much, I don't want to leave him here, but I can't hide the fact that I can't WAIT to get out of this hotel living situation. I'll be staying with his family for a few days, then I'll go to stay with my parents for a while too. I'm looking forward to eating better and also being able to see a few of my friends more often.

Jason already got a room at the barracks on post, so he took some of our stuff over there today. He doesn't get to eat for free at DFAC, but at least he has a close place to live and a full fridge. I have requested his Mom bring kim chee and ramen. Tomorrow, I'm going to buy a hot plate for him to use there. We can borrow a pot and a pan from the Lending Closet at ACS. We already borrowed two of all the dishware and silverware, plus a rice cooker. I hate using plastic or disposable stuff, I try my best to be earth friendly. We are buying 5 gallon jugs of water and refilling reusable water bottles too. The nearest Walmart here in town is pretty sad, they don't have a full selection of groceries. I miss having the full grocery option. The Commisary is really expensive and overpriced. We have a Costco about an hour and a half away, so we'll be buying most of our stuff there and making really good use of our freezer. I am crossing my fingers for decent pantry space too since we're most likely going to have to go to Los Angeles for any Korean groceries, I will have to stock up every couple months.

I'm officially sick of instant mac & cheese and anything else that you can heat up, add water, or just throw in the microwave. We have to go to Victorville to eat "fresh" food from restaurants. We already found a really good Japanese restaurant, their Sushi is awesome too. Barstow is very depressing, so don't even bother looking around there if you come out here to visit us. The only thing in Barstow is a Foster's Freeze (for root beer freezes), a Starbucks (which I've been sworn off due to instant reactions -- I go from happy pregnant girl to snappy bitch after the first sip), and Panda Express (which we've only been to once since March, but we're sick of it). Oh and a steak restaurant that has good reviews, but we haven't checked it out yet.

Long post, but it's been a while since I've written much at all about everything that's been going on. I guess that is one highlight of Jason working on weekends. Gives me time to get bored and have energy to sit for a while and blog about my life.

Yes, Jason has to work weekends now. Not all the time, but for at least two weeks out of a month. All of these guys do. Today is his first day of work, from the texting I think he's had a good one, learning a lot. He's probably going to be sunburnt and dead tired when he gets home. He's been pretty exhausted lately -- I was expecting it, starting a new job is tough. These Soldiers have really long days, waking up for work at 4:30am and getting home around 6:00pm. I love my Soldier.

21 weeks (early 5 months)

2010-04-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Short update, but Jason, Moo and I, all got to Fort Irwin, California safely. We had a two week "vacation" in Los Angeles area and The Bay Area, got to visit a lot of family and friends. If we had more time I would have seen more, but we ran out of time. I am sorry if you're one of the few we didn't get to see this trip.

We are staying in a hotel about 45 minutes away from post. It's cheaper by $23/day, plus $50/week for our dog. It's a pain in the but, when I need to come back to let Moo out, but it's still worth the savings, even with the extra gas we're spending. I should only have to go with Jason to work at 0445 twice this week and once next week. After that, I might be taking myself and Moo to San Jose to live and stay at my parents until we get official on post housing. Hotels are going to clean our bank account, so Jason and I will have to live far apart for a while. It could take a few weeks to a couple months. I'm sure we'll find a way to visit each other after a few weeks though.

Today is our official Ultrasound, we get to SEE our baby and find out the SEX. We're pretty excited. More people think we're having a boy, than a girl. I am thinking we're going to have a boy, since I was too set on having a girl. Ha ha. I will be happy with either one though.

I'm doing really well. Lots of energy and been getting out a lot, especially during our little vacation. I'm trying to take naps before I get super grumpy. Pregnancy gives me this super impatient short temper, poor Jason.

Gotta go back to Fort Irwin now and get ready for the Ultrasound.

18 weeks (about 5 months)

2010-03-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

I feel a lot bigger and I can eat giant sized meals as long as it's after 11a. I haven't gained any weight yet though. The books say I'm supposed to have gained between 10-12 pounds by now. Can't always go by the books though, right? I'm eating more than enough and I'm not holding back either. I'm also drinking more water; it feels good. My Mom and Sister both said they didn't gain the "standard" 25-35 pounds in any of their pregnancies.

We turned in our house keys on post and are staying at a friend's house most of the week until Sunday or Monday. Got our rental SUV for the trip, it's a Toyota RAV4. Lots of storage space and room for legs so I'm pretty pleased with it.

Since Monday, Jason has been stuck sleeping at work and being at work when he doesn't have stuff to take care of with me. His troop is in the field so the 1st SGT is making everyone not in the field sleep at the office in the cold dirty armor rooms on cots. He might come home tonight though if they let him. We'll see.

I'm a little tired today. Moo keeps waking me up at 4a to go potty because she isn't going at night before I go to bed. If she doesn't go potty then she has to sleep in her cage, otherwise she might have an accident. She is doing better than the first couple days here though. She just isn't used to being away from home. She loves having the other dog to play with though. Eventually, I want to get her an older brother puppy, but he will be at least two years old, maybe three, and about half her weight.

I gotta let Moo out now. She's being whiney.

ONE MORE WEEK!

2010-03-10T21:28:00.001-08:00

We turn our house keys in one week from today. A few days after that's we'll begin our cross country road trip from Fort Campbell, TN to Fort Irwin, CA. We have one planned stop in Memphis to pick up my Mom, she's coming out to help drive since I'm pregnant and sometimes I become useless when I am super tired or having baby cramps. After that we'll spend a couple weeks visiting family in Los Angeles and the Bay Area. I cannot WAIT to start eating as soon as we hit LA though. There are so many places I want to eat in both Southern and Northern Cal, I'm not sure we'll have enough time; we'll see though.

I'm definitely starting to show now. Even on the rare hours that I'm not super bloated, I still show. It's actually quite uncomfortable these days. I have trouble getting comfy in bed, on the couch, in the car, everywhere.

I CAN EAT AGAIN!
I think I'm completely past the morning sickness. I can't eat very much in the mornings, but in the afternoon and evening I can eat almost a full size meal. I still get hungry every hour, sometimes more than that. Although some smells will probably make me sick still. I can really only eat what sounds good to me. I can't just eat anything. It's pretty much the baby telling me what it wants and doesn't want. Like PANCAKES. Jason went online last Sunday and found a pancake recipe to make from scratch because I had been thinking about pancakes for a couple days by then. Before that I rarely eat pancakes and we had never made them at home before this week.

My insomnia is still bad on several days of the week. One night I didn't sleep till Jason's work alarm went off at 500am. Some nights I can fall asleep around 100am though. Sleeping is hard with the feeling of a giant belly in front of me giving me pressure.

It's nice to finally be showing though.

:)

Date Correction

2010-02-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

Whoops! I got some of the years wrong on the story I wrote in the previous post. We day we had lunch and re-met in SF was in 2008. Then we got married in 2009 after he returned from deployment.

I will make corrections on the actual post tomorrow. I'm writing this in bed on my BlackBerry. I'm planning to give up the BlackBerry sometime after April, as long as I can find a phone I like to replace it. Do you think I can do it? Ha ha.

Lala

(via.bb)

dear belly...how mom and dad met

2010-02-17T21:22:00.002-08:00

13 weeks 4 days (Total: about 3 months)

Dear Unborn Baby,

Daddy breathed in my face last night and it made me gag and then I threw up a few minutes later. I hope you start letting me get past this morning sickness phase. Second trimester and the beginning of month four starts next week. I feel a little bad when something like Daddy makes me throw up. It's funny afterwards, yet one of those guilty kinds of feelings.

You are my first baby and first pregnancy ever. I'm so excited and I can't wait to feel you getting bigger. I am not showing at all right now, but I can't wear my fitted jeans anymore.
I'm going to tell you about how Dad and I met...

Your Dad, Jason, is a Cavalry Scout for the US Army. He's been in for almost 3 years now as an enlisted Soldier.

I knew him a long time ago when he was a teenager; 19 years old. We had a short seven month dating relationship together while I lived in San Jose, CA and he lived in Vallejo, CA. Those seven months were the happiest months I can remember. We commited fully and quickly, but too quickly for our own good. We were so young. He was 19 and I was 22. We never had a fight the whole time until the night we broke up. That was it for us.

I dated a few guys a while after getting over him. One of those relationships lasted 3 years. Everytime a relationship ended, I would remember Jason and how good we were together.
Nine years later...

Single, rarely dating, attempted online dating, I was living in the Potrero Hill district of San Francisco, CA. Something reminded me of Jason again, so I googled him. One link stood out. I emailed Jason on LinkedIn.com not knowing if it was really him because the location of that person was in Chicago, IL. Later that night I woke up around 4:30 AM and out of habit I looked at the email that came in on my BlackBerry. Jason wrote back to me on LinkedIn.com, said he just happened to be on midtour deployment leave from Afghanistan visiting friends and family in the SF Bay Area, but he was leaving the country again in two days. I texted him as soon as I read his message at 4:30 AM.

My text read:

It's me, L. Are you married now? Call or write
whenever. Hope to hear from you soon.

Within a few minutes he answered "not married" so, of course, I kept talking to him.

We texted more and then finally ended up talking on the phone for a few hours. At that time I was working at Wells Fargo Downtown SF so we made plans to meet close by for lunch.

I was in a daze all morning and still didn't think this was really happening. It was always a bit of a secret dream to meet Jason again. My coworker, Danny, covered for me at work because I wanted to have a little extra time for lunch. I left work, walked across a street called, "The Embarcadero" and looked for Jason as he told me on the phone, "I SEE YOU!" He was hiding behind a pillar. I found him and gave him a big hug. He gave me a one armed hug. Then he showed me his other hand and he had a bouquet of Sunflowers for me. I love fresh flowers.

We had lunch at the SF Ferry Building outside at the farmers market on July 9, 2008. It was a record hot and humid day. He caught me up on parts of his life and showed me all of his war pictures from Afghanistan. I had to get back to work so we ended our lunch and met up afterwards. I had only taken the bus and trollys to and from work. I had never taken them anywhere else alone. I was nervous about it, but I didn't want to go home to get my car because there wouldn't be any parking where we were meeting. Plus, I wanted to see Jason again as soon as possible. He was getting his second tattoo when I met up with him. We got our first tatts together nine years ago in Berkeley, CA.

Jason went back to Afghanistan. We emailed several times before he called me about a month after we saw each other. I didn't know what was in store for us so I tried to keep myself distracted by continuing to try to date with online dating sites. I met a couple guys and had bad experiences. By then, Jason was more available by phone and email, so we could actually talk instead of just write confusing emails. I got confused by his emails several times. He made it up to me with his phone calls though.

We fell in love again through a lot of talking and long emails over the next four months. He asked me to marry him on the phone one night when we had one minute left on the calling card. The line disconnected twice a few minutes before that. I believe the date was November 9, 2008.

Over the next few months, I told my parents what was happening, moved out of my apartment, moved three more times to avoid signing a lease and save on rent. Then at the end of February 2009, I quit my job and flew to Tennessee/Kentucky. I had never been to the South before!

Jason returned from deployment March 3, 2009 to Fort Campbell, KY. I was there when they got off the plane. It took me till way after they were already in formation to find him in the blend of Soldiers. I really have trouble telling them all apart in uniform or with any kind of hat on.

We got legally married and our certificate on March 12, 2009 at the County Clerks office in Clarksville, TN, but only after Jason video skyped alone with my parents in California the day before (asking for permission to marry me). Our beautiful wedding was April 11, 2009 in Concord, CA, performed by Pastor Ken Ashitomi. He flew in all the way from Honolulu for us. Pastor Ken used to live in San Jose, CA. He watched me and my sisters grow up from being in the womb till I was in my teens.

Before we married I wanted to wait to get pregnant till Jason was done with the Army. Jason wanted to start a family as soon as we got married (so did his Mom and Grandma), but he was also willing to wait till I was ready. We got Moo, our puppy, in June 2009 on his birthday, she was about 3 months old and 18 pounds.

After marrying and spending time getting to know my husband and learning how to be soley dependent on each other, the more comfortable I got with him being in the Army and the lifestyle it can provide for a family. Now I'm not waiting till the day he's not enlisted anymore. We decided to start our family and not allow our commitment to the Army put our lives on hold. Jason wanted to start a family as soon as we got married, but he was also willing to wait till I was ready. I'm waiting for you, our baby, to be born and be our new sunshine. We didn't know how long it would take, but we planned you. You showed up very quickly after we decided to open our lives up to a family. We are so happy and excited to be pregnant with you.

I always wanted to have kids. There was a short time where I wasn't sure I would ever find the right man to have a family with and that scared me. I've been ready to be a mom for several years. I'm not worried about being able to care for you when you're born. I'm not scared or nervous about becoming a mom. I will love being your lucky mom.

My only concerns is about being pregnant, you are this little three inch baby inside of me. I just want to take care of you and keep you safe.

Love,
Your soon to be Mom

(via.bb)

Ultrasound Picture - 12 weeks 5 days

2010-02-15T14:53:00.002-08:00

We're Moving in April. Oh, and I'm Pregnant!

2010-01-29T17:55:00.000-08:00

Baby No
Currently 10 weeks and 6 days old in my belly or rather under. I'm hungry ALL the time. Food in my stomach lasts about 30-45 minutes and then I'm hungry again. The morning sickness isn't all that bad for me; started during our post-Christmas Chicago trip. We found out we were pregnant on December 22, 2009 by blood test. I had no clue I was pregnant for a few weeks before that. It's so hard to keep it a secret after finding out! This is our first baby and my first pregnancy ever. We can't be excited enough!

Moving in April
We're getting PCS'ed (Permanent Change of Station) by our request to Fort Irwin, California. The base there is a LOT smaller and I'm also hoping the hospital will be less full of babies too. Fort Campbell has so many births per month, I think they can barely handle it. I can't wait to get out of here. My friend, Tiffany, is also moving away, but she and her family are going to Fort Stewart, Georgia.

More Snow
We're having a winter storm alert today till sometime tomorrow. We already got enough snow to cover everything outside. It's too cold to go outside and play in the snow though.

Home Sweet Home
Now that we're moving in two months, the house is finally starting to look like real home. My parents had gotten us our first bedroom furniture back in September 2009. A couple weeks ago, Jason's Mom added to our collection with additional matching pieces. She also put up curtains in every room. It's beautiful. We're very lucky to have such a generous family. So yeah, we have to take the curtains down again in two months, but it's okay.

Moo likes the snow!

2010-01-12T09:44:00.001-08:00

It snowed at Fort Campbell, KY for five days straight. It stopped only a couple days ago and it's almost all melted now. A lot of ice on the road and sidewalks though.

Moo didn't mind playing in the snow or walking in it. The first time she kind of tip toed around, but a day later she was prancing in it and biting it and shoving her nose in it. She doesn't care how cold it is, she loves being out, snow or shine. She will even go walking in light rain, if we take her. I can't wait to take her to deep snow and the beach...one day.

2010 is going to be awesome, almost as awesome as 2009

2010-01-12T09:34:00.000-08:00

At this rate, every day has brought a new surprise. We had a nice quiet Christmas morning at home. Moo got spoiled by us and her grandparents. Luckily I got her a toy that should last a while, she seems to like it a lot. I am hoping it will be a good replacement for the stairway corner if we try and leave her alone (not locked up in her crate) for more than 5 minutes. I got Jason a video game he's been wanting for a month. He wasn't planning on getting it. So I snuck it in with a pair of carpenter pants. He deserves to have something he enjoys. He's such a great husband.

Christmas afternoon we spent at our good friends house, Russ and Tiffany. We played Wii for a while, then ate an awesome Turkey lunch/dinner by Tiffany. Jason and I made fresh candied yams. I'm really glad we didn't travel for Christmas. It would have been nice to see old friends and family, but I would have likely gotten real tired and grumpy.

We went to Chicago for five days after Christmas. Put Moo up at the Village Groomer where she got a big luxury studio and animal planet. She's been there once before and didn't have any weird behaviors afterwards, so I like that place. This was our longest time apart from her since we got her. Jason had some separation anxiety. I missed her presence and wished we could take her all over Chicago with us. I wanted her to see the snow and play in it.

In Chicago, we mainly ate at new places, some old. The first place I found that was a California familiarity was Panda Express. I felt silly for wanting Panda in Chicago downtown, but I was starving and I can't find that type of chow mein anywhere in the South. It's always called lo mein and it's covered with orange brownish gravy.

Navy Pier

Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows

We hung out at Navy Pier for a couple hours till the sun went down, then rode the famous Ferris Wheel to see the Chicago Skyline that Jason has always told me about. This was his first time riding the Ferris Wheel as well so it was nice to share that together.

Beautiful Chicago Skyline

(I took the first two while on the Ferris Wheel so they are blurry)

We met up with friends we haven't seen since the wedding and visited his old coworkers at Bank of America at the Sears Tower, now called the Willis Tower. They currently work on the 27th floor.

Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower)

Famous Chicago Deep Dish Pizza

They make it upside down - cheese on the bottom, sauce on top. This was a small, Jason and I barely ate three slices. We also had an appetizer and a salad.

Chicago Water Tower

We had a Moroccan dinner one night.

It's so nice to have International options when looking for a restaurant. That is one of the things I miss most about California. They have all kinds of food from all over the world. I had to have my salad made without cilantro and the owner had my dish prepared off the menu since most of the dishes had it as well. I didn't know 95% of Moroccan food had cilantro in it. I'm allergic to it - my face turns red, cheeks get puffy, and my stomach dies slowly.

Those were a few highlights of our trip. I am really glad we went. It was very cold the entire time. Snowed almost everyday and the temperature was under 9-17 degrees while we were there. I still miss California cold, but it is still nice to experience different places.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

Chocolate crazy week

2009-12-16T09:40:00.001-08:00

I've been making chocolate desserts since Jason got back home. Only two since Friday, but I can't eat what I've made fast enough so I can move onto the next recipe. I already perfected the chocolate souffle or some call it a lava cake since they pour out with melted chocolate when you take a spoonful of the crisp baked shell.

Last week, I happened to skim through a library cookbook and notice a recipe called "Tiger Butter". I thought to myself that the name sounds really familiar. I haven't had this chocolate since I was a young teenager; one of my favorite things to buy when I would go with my mom to the local neighborhood boutiques. I never knew I could MAKE it, it's pretty easy too. I will make it again eventually and take a picture. I haven't been photographing my kitchen creations lately; nothing really exciting has been happening in there.

Now, I'm trying to perfect a version of Pot de Creme I had in 2001 at an Italian restaurant in the West Portal district of San Francisco, when I went back there years later they had been replaced by a creperie. All these desserts were discovered at fancy SF restaurants I used to go to when I was young, single, and made too much money. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my marriage for any type of fancy restaurant chocolate. Ha! Besides, I can make most of these at home with a little research and effort.

I don't know why I have been on a chocolate craze this week. I think I've been holding back. The only chocolate I was getting before this was Peanut Butter M&M's. I love those.

Time for lunch.

Yay...

2009-12-15T14:20:00.000-08:00

I got a notification that I won "The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl" cookbook today from the people at Savory Sweet Life. I'm always searching for recipes in the library cookbooks and online. The few cookbooks I have are mainly Japanese or Korean and those recipes are a ton a preparation work that I rarely want to commit my time to. I haven't spent much time in the kitchen the last couple weeks with Jason gone. Now that he's back I better get my butt in the kitchen or else...

I wasn't feeling good yesterday, then in the evening I had a very low fever. I am feeling better today. There is a Christmas party tonight for troops and I don't want to go.

Jason came home for a 20-min lunch and wanted me to cut his hair real quick. He got made fun of the whole afternoon for going back to work like that. I call it the mushroom cut. It's his fault for making me rush and cut his hair when he could have just waited till he got home early today.

Misunderstandings

2009-12-11T02:28:00.001-08:00

I think some of my friends [more than one] are getting the wrong idea about me from reading this blog. This happened before with my previous xanga blog. For a while I chose to keep it private and open only to strangers with no direct connection with me, which worked fine. When I let real life friends in, some got upset. It's harder for people close to me to hear what goes on in my head. I don't want to be worried about. Is my writing is putting out the wrong idea?

I write with a lot of emotion and intensity that not everyone understands. I think because of this I get mistaken for being too sensitive.

(via.bb)

Dogs get colds too...

2009-12-09T23:01:00.000-08:00

Moo has been sneezing a lot and heaving, which is abnormal for her. I took her in to the vet yesterday and seems she's got some kind of frontal congestion in her ears and nose; now she's on antibiotics and an antihistamine. Moo is a very expensive puppy; I love her though. She really is the best company I could have when Jason is away and I can't always hang out with a friend or be on the phone with Jason or my friends in California. She's curled up on top of my feet in her donut bed, keeping me warm and snoring. I'm starting to do reading to help work on training her more firmly; getting tips by reading thoughts by the Dog Whisperer: Cesar Milian. I was gone for several hours, but aside from that she and I are getting along really well today. She still stares out towards the front door every other minute in hopes that her Daddy will come in and give us hugs and kisses.

Soon. Very soon.

On the other hand, I have been doing really well the last couple days. Jason has been able to call me often before he goes to sleep. I've been keeping busy by wasting [a lot of] time playing games on the computer, finding Christmas presents for J and Moo, keeping up the house, watching "on demand" shows, and keeping in touch with my California friends. Hanging out with my local friend Tiffany every couple days has really helped pass the time; her husband is also gone where Jason is.

I finished my English 101 class this past Tuesday. I procrastinated way too much on writing my outline for it and finally got it done in bed really late Monday night. Writing the outline was the only way I could study for my final and it worked. I could barely get myself out of bed the next morning to drive to school and write my final essay. I made it three minutes before class started. Tuesday was a very grouchy day, but luckily I'm over it.

My butt is numb from sitting. I need to sit up higher. Okay, fixed.

Actually, time for shower and bed.

Goodnight, Moon.

Today was rough; only five more to go.

2009-12-07T01:14:00.004-08:00

Slept, woke up, fell asleep with Moo on the sofa for a while, watched television, then finally took Moo for a walk, we walked the long route, ended up on Texas and I took a few wrong turns so I didn't really know where I would end up. Got to the children's education center and made a right to the street where the PX and Commissary meet, by then I was freezing. I bundled up on top well, just wore sweats on my legs. My head was freezing though. I need to find a couple warm hats. I didn't wear a hooded top so I had nothing on my face and ears. Oh well.

Moo escaped the leash when she saw some guy walking ahead of us about 100-200 feet ahead. She fought me and got out of her collar. The guy was on our side, walking past the gas station and we were behind near the Taco Bell end. As soon as she got loose, I yelled for her, which luckily warned the guy and he turned and saw happy Moo running towards him. She didn't jump on him though. She played hard to get, and almost ran into the street in front of a car. This is why I don't walk her at night; you cannot see her in the dark. I ran close to them, jumped over the fence to the grass field, jogged away (this is how I can get her to come back to me, by running a different direction) and she followed me. Suddenly she turned around and went back to that guy. Finally she came back again and this time I was able to get a hold of her and put her leash back on. Phew!

I need to find dog/puppy training help. I want her to have more freedom, but I need to be able to trust her off the leash. She isn't supposed to be off leash out here, unless it's at the dog park, so walking her requires a leash anyway. Moo stresses me out sometimes and then I feel bad about it. I don't want to feel this way at all about her. That makes me sad.

After that craziness, we cut through the grass and got home quickly. I let her potty outside and then made her go to her house. I was fuming. I sat on the sofa for a few minutes to calm down. Then went and changed upstairs.

I ended up doing a little bit of Christmas shopping at the PX for Jason and me. I felt better and guilty about Moo after that. I guess I just needed a little space. I didn't buy a lot. I wanted to buy a jacket today, but the salesperson said it would go on sale this coming Friday, at 50% off. I really could not pass that up, right? I don't have very many or rather ANY southern winter worthy jackets. I have city jackets and a bunch of thin sweaters to layer – which is what I've been using since it's gotten cold. I couldn't put it on hold and it was the last of it's size, so I used the layaway program (only 30 days with no interest), come Friday I can purchase it at the sale price and pay it off in full. Jason did remind me I couldn’t have it till Christmas though. I'm going to wrap what I got him, and then he wants to wrap what I got for myself. I'm happy about this.

Jason called and we finally got to talk for more than a minute. I was already in a sour mood and we got off on the wrong start. I was overwhelmed; sometimes a good cry helps and it helps to have him on the phone to cry out to. I feel bad though because I know he hates when I cry when he's away, because he can't physically be here or do anything about it. He stayed on the phone with me till I felt better even though he needed to go to sleep. He sleeps with others very close by so he can't talk too long or late or loud. I guess some of them were still awake so it was okay.

Lately, I cry at movies, television shows, on the phone. I think I'm just extra emotionally sensitive right now. I am sure it's not serious. It being my depression. Things will get better when Jason is back home. I know when it's getting bad, I can make the right decisions. I will go back to taking anti-depressants when it gets close to J's next deployment (which we are not aware of when will happen yet). I wish I didn't have to, but after thirty-one years of living and dealing with clinical depression, I know myself well enough.

Time to sleep. It's raining out. I like listening to the rain while I sleep. I would stare out the windows if I could see the rain from the bedroom, but they have screens, which hold the rain and block the view at night.

Water

2009-12-04T22:40:00.000-08:00

I really need to drink more water. At least I'm not getting those bad headaches I used to get, but I feel as though I am always bloated. I gained more than ten fingers since I hit bottom after being sick. This weight gain is making me quite lethargic. I need to use those yoga dvds J got me for my birthday. I opened only one of five of them so far. It's been three months.

Enough complaining. I just don't want to look pregnant when I'm not.

Got a couple text messages from Jason today, but I won't hear from him for three days -- he's on range with no break to recharge his phone. It's cold out there. I can't wait for him to come home and see all the weight I gained.

Blank

2009-12-03T00:26:00.007-08:00

Today was one of those weird days where I mostly slept in the morning, then was up for a couple hours, then went back to sleep in the afternoon.

I decided to walk Moo before dinner so I could get at least one good thing done. I took her for a one mile walk in the misty icy cold weather. For dinner I picked up pizza and went to my friend's house to hangout and chat for a while. Got home around 8:30pm to find Moo chewed a hole in the pillow part of her bed that I left for her in her house and half the stuffing was out. I've fixed the outside bed before, now I have to fix the inside pillow part. I was washing her blankets that normally go in her house, so I wanted to give her something to keep warm on. That was a mistake. I even gave her two chew toys, plus treats, and I fed her dinner so she wouldn't be hungry. Yet she still had to destroy something.

I went upstairs and gave Moo a much needed bath. She was stinking pretty bad because it's been wet and rainy outside and it makes her smell stronger. After that I talked to a sleepy husband for about a minute and then he went back to sleep. He had a really long, cold, miserable day in the field at Fort Knox.

After that, I started the laundry and watched TV for a while. I caught up on all the CSI: Miami shows through Comcast On Demand, then came upstairs and put away two full baskets of laundry so I could collect the other laundry that is currently drying. I took Moo out one more time for potty. We got back upstairs and I that's when I noticed the poo. Moo pooped on the floor in the bedroom. I had smelled something while I was putting laundry away in the closet and the hallway linen closet, but I thought it was her having gas which is why I took her downstairs and let her out. She hasn't done this in a really long time, like months. I think something is bothering her, maybe because Daddy is gone? She has had an accident before while he's been gone. Sigh, maybe it's me. I put her in her "house" and she is going to sleep there tonight. Normally she would sleep with my in the bedroom. I don't know if I should start the kennel training again or what. Wish Jason were here.

My stomach is bloated and hurts right now. I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep in a minute, but I felt the need to write and blow off some of my steam here.

Keeping Busy

2009-12-01T17:44:00.001-08:00

Jason left this morning around 5:30 AM, he won't be back for eleven days. I miss him already. The house is very cold when he's not around. I should turn up the heater to make it more comfortable.

I finished the required essay rewrite about five minutes before I had to leave for class. I procrastinated doing it because it was a rewrite, fairly easy. I also think I might do better if I took some extra time to rewrite it. The final for the class is next week Tuesday. I hope I do well, even though it's only ten percent of the semester grade.

I went to the post office and mailed Christmas cards to family. We won't be visiting any of our family in California, so I thought we should send cards out. I'm not very good at regular Christmas cards though. I also returned our books and movies to the library and picked up some new cookbooks to take home.

He's calling now!

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...

2009-11-27T19:53:00.003-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T19:18:00.005-08:00

We spent our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple and did our own feast. Everything was awesome. My first time cooking a turkey and it was perfection! Thanks to my husband for his help as I get slightly grossed out when touching raw meats, especially whole parts with bones. I can deal with some of it though. How else would I be able to cook?

Our Thanksgiving Menu:

Starters

Sweet Pepper Relish with Cream Cheese and Crackers
Slow Pot Hot Apple Cider

Main

Herb Roasted Turkey (10 lbs.)
Ham
Macaroni Salad
Candied Yams
Turkey Gravy
Cranberry Sauce
White Rice
Kim Chi

Dessert

Pumpkin Pie
French Pressed Peet's Gaia Coffee

I think that was everything. Now that we succeeded at this year, I'll be able to preplan the next time we cook on own own.

We had one guest over for the feast. He is young and ate a LOT, which we are glad since we would have a ton of leftovers without him. We sent him back to the barracks with two plates of food to eat later and a big piece of pie. I'm glad he came out to join us. I really enjoy having dinner parties; actually I miss having them more often like I did when I lived in San Francisco. I guess it just gets expensive when I'm not working myself, plus being married there is more reason to just spend the nights together. J works all day and I know it's tiring.

He's playing video games on the PS3 right now. I'm trying to be better at giving him downtime. It's been a bit of a hectic week the last four days prepping for Thanksgiving. It's finished, the dishes are done, everything is put away. I'm almost lost in what to do with myself. So I came upstairs and played on the computer for a while. It's really nice to have a blog to write on again. I missed writing my thoughts.

I still don't know what else to do now that I'm done with everything I felt like doing on the computer. I do have homework due Tuesday, but come on, it's Thanksgiving...

Having bad days...

2009-11-24T19:07:00.008-08:00

The last few days have been rough. Both J and I are overly tired lately -- him from work, me from cleaning, getting errands out of the way, and doing homework. We've both been on edge and cranky every few hours, minutes, or days.

I know I'm extra moody because my body is trying to get back to normal. I stopped some medications a few weeks ago and have been in withdrawal. I'm finally at a point where I'm not getting bad headaches everyday anymore.

Thanksgiving is in a couple days and I'm cooking a turkey for the first time in my life. I thought we were having some of Jason's Soldier buddies come over to join us (the ones who aren't going home), but I found out today, no one is coming. So I have this 10 pound turkey to feed me, Jason, and maybe even Moo will get a couple pieces too. Guess we'll be eating turkey for several days. I will probably end up freezing some for later too.

I'm exhausted, yet not sleepy enough to fall asleep. J knocked out a little while ago. We usually always go to bed at the same time together. I lay in bed for hours till I fall asleep. Last couple nights haven't been too bad, I've been able to fall asleep within an hour of laying down. I stopped taken sleeping pills a couple months ago. I ran out and didn't want to get another prescription since I had been on them for so long. So I'm still getting used to falling asleep without the aid of pills. It's a good thing.

J is leaving December 1st for two weeks of training out of town. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I guess it's good practice for the next deployment though, right? Nah, I don't want practice. I just want as much time as I can have with him before that time comes again.

Right before Jason got home from work, I took Moo for a one mile walk, but it wasn't long enough for her. She used to be tired after one mile, not anymore. I guess I'll have to walk an extra block to give her better exercise next time. We used to walk her everyday, then it got less and less. Now my goal is to walk her or take her to the dog park at the very least, every three days. I usually only take her to the dog park once every week to two weeks because she gets really dirty playing with the other dogs. One of us has to give her a bath soon after.

I think I'll shower and try to sleep now. I'm getting a bit of a headache.

Stress Relief

2009-11-23T19:49:00.005-08:00

I MOPPED THE FLOOR DOWNSTAIRS!

Tired, but in a much better mood now.

J still isn't home from the range. Still waiting...

Oh and I made Oyako Don for dinner!

Grumpy Monday

2009-11-23T14:01:00.003-08:00

No idea why I am such a grump today.

I got out of bed, made coffee, ate leftover french toast for breakfast, then washed all the dishes. I cleaned up the kitchen. I don't know why it gets so messy. I seem to clean it all the time. I was going to go to the Commissary (on post grocery store) to do Thanksgiving grocery shopping, but got distracted for a half hour by the computer. Then J called and asked me to bring him lunch and hang out with him for a while. He had to stay with all the gear, out in the troop area. Finally got to the grocery store, they were sold out on some stuff and it was crowded so I couldn't find everything. After I got home, I let Moo out back, while I cleaned the grill from Saturday and put it in the shed. It's been raining out since this morning. I put all the groceries away and the house maintenance guy came over to check the crack in the living room window that appeared over the weekend. He taped it all ugly with duck tape and said it should be replaced in a couple weeks when the order comes in. I cleaned up the dining table and the junk table, and the junk on top of the washer and dryer. Now I'm here.

What a boring post.

I bought some fresh chicken, but I still don't know what to make for dinner tonight. Boo.

Over the weekend, we gave the downstairs furniture a new layout for a while, swept the floors, and did all the laundry. I also cut J's hair, pretty badly, but I fixed it up pretty nicely after realizing I gave him a monk cut. I cut his hair every two weeks. He wants me to do it, even though sometimes I give him a bad cut.

I [we] need to wet mop the floors really badly, but both of us have been so lazy. Sigh.

Picture of Moo the dog

2009-11-21T16:36:00.002-08:00

She's almost eight months old.

School

2009-11-21T16:31:00.000-08:00

I have class two days a week for English 101 out here. It's keeping me super busy; I've already written four papers. This semester ends December 11. One class of three semester units cost me $375 out here, that is the resident rate. I think that is crazy compared to prices of community college classes in California.

No sleep, slow cooker pork, moo

2009-11-20T01:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to fall asleep at night, until way late. I don't sleep all day or all morning, although I could if I really wanted to. I go to bed at the same time my husband does and I can't fall asleep till hours later. Once in a blue moon, I'll get out of bed and have a snack while sitting at the computer. Today is one of those nights. It's 3:53 AM right now.

Moo is our black lab mix puppy. She will be eight months old next week. I've been really irritable lately and feel bad because I haven't been very nice to her. I need to talk her for walks on the days I don't have school, it would be good for both of us.

We decided not to go to California for the holidays, this will be our first Christmas together since we got married in April. We are going to make this first one "ours" and keep it special and simple. No traveling. J might not be around next Christmas if he deploys, so that is another reason for us to spend this Christmas just us and Moo.

J is a Soldier in the US Army, as well as my amazing, loving, awesome husband. We got married after he returned from deployment in Afghanistan.

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