GRUMP

Bad Mood
I've been in a bad mood since 12:51 PM today. I can't seem to shake the feeling. I've done everything I could possibly do around here as for housework and stuff, plus took care of Luci all day. I've been keeping myself busy trying let it all go. I got dinner taken care of, gave Luci a bath, read her books, put her to bed, watched a netflix show. I even made Jason go to bed without me which I never do. I always go to bed with him or right after him if I haven't gotten Luci down for bed before he needs to go to sleep. I can't shake my bad mood. I can't shake my grumpiness. I hate it. It sucks being in a bad mood.

I don't know why, but I proved to myself that I could do everything today. I can handle doing all the housework, taking care of Luci and taking care of Jason and our meals. I didn't make breakfast or anything, but I made Kim Chee fried rice for lunch and defrosted steak and made rice for dinner before Jason got home from work. I took care of all the dishes in the sink and the dishwasher today, didn't even use the dishwasher again. I got the baby laundry going, it's in the dryer now. I know it doesn't sound like I did THAT much today, but it was a lot. Oh, I also made 9 phone calls for my POC (Point of Contact) phone list that I'm responsible for the FRG (Family Readiness Group) of Jason's Platoon. That was something I've been putting off for a while. I talked to a couple people directly, but mostly I left messages. It's time consuming, but I agreed to do it. Mostly so I can meet people and be more aware of what's happening.

Nauseous
I've been feeling a little sick in the evenings especially. It's only every other day though. I have been trying to taper off of my anti-depressant medication (Paxil) because I don't like the side effects of it. I want to taper off of this one and start on a different one if I need to. So I've been taking a half pill every other day, and a whole pill every other day. I can feel the difference when I take that half pill though.

For Sale
I've been posting a few things online to sell, either with my eBay account or on the local Fort Irwin Yard Sale website. Trying to sell some things and make a little money as well as get rid of things I don't use or need anymore.

Coffee
I've been making one cup of Peet's Coffee with my French Press lately. I skipped yesterday, but I started again today. So far I've had coffee 4 times this week. It's so good too. I miss coffee. I don't care whether it's caffeinated or not, I just love the flavor. It's also been making me more energetic so I can get a lot more done and have energy to play with Luci still. I ground the coffee so that it's mostly decaf, about 90% decaf and I put a small handful of regular coffee in it too into the batch I ground and filled up my canister with. I think the caffeine affects Luci a little bit though. She gets a little cranky in the early evenings. Should I dump the ground coffee and regrind more coffee so that I'm drinking all decaf? I know decaf still has about 25% caffeine in it, but that much doesn't seem to affect Luci at all.

Weaning
I've weaned Luci a little bit from the breastfeeding. She gets "booby" about 3-4 times a day instead of 5-6 times a day now. Mostly it depends on her, but sometimes she demands it, but she has been pretty good about taking the bottle. Sometimes I unlatch her from me and immediately put the bottle in her mouth and then she will sneak off and go back onto me. It's kind of funny and cute too. I don't mind at all right now. I just don't want her wasting so much of her energy on me sucking since babies do burn a LOT of calories just from sucking. Which is one of the big reasons I don't care to get her on a pacifier. She hasn't gotten the hang of a pacifier anyway. I rarely give her one. Only when she is super upset in the car and she chews on it a little while, then continues to cry since all she wants is to be held and not sitting or sleeping in her carseat. She burns more than enough calories just laying on the floor wiggling away. She seems like a pretty skinny baby, although she has got a cute little belly now and big sweet cheeks.

Solids
We started carrots a few days ago. So far so good. We also did bananas before that for 6 days, but stopped short since she started having what seemed like diarrhea. We'll revisit bananas in a month or two when she is older. I think bananas are messier than carrots, even though carrots have the bright orange color. Banana's look gross after they go from fresh to old. They get stuck in the washcloths too. I think after carrots we'll do either sweet potatoes or green beans. We'll be traveling next week, so I might do partial homemade and partial packaged baby food.

Surgery
Jason is having eye surgery (LASIK) done next week. I hope it all goes well. The army does it for the Soldiers free. We just have to pay for travel and lodging. It's going to be done at Camp Pendleton, so we're planning to stay out there for 2 days, then in San Diego for another 2 days. I hope he doesn't wear me out while he is in the healing stage for a few days. I hope I get to go out with Luci to the beach if it's warm enough.

Shopping
We need to buy Jason good sunglasses and myself a dress for the Military Ball. The ball is at the Disneyland Hotel in April. I am still 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight so I can't fit any of my old dresses. If they looked good on me now, I would totally wear one of those instead of buying a new one, but I am sure they look horrible. I kind of hate my body right now. I miss my yoga body.

Friend
I made one friend and we've hung out a few times. It's really nice to have someone just down the street to text and say, "come over."